A stranger within
by Chibi1309
Summary: A story about Raven realising her feelings and emotions. BB&R Read and Review PLEASE! I rated it PG13 - Swearing in parts. Chpt14 is up, quick wasn't it?
1. Ravens problem

Heya people, ~*Chibi*~ is the name. ^_^  
  
This is my first ever fanfic, and its a teen titan one, lets hope there are many more (better ones i hope!) to come! ^^  
  
Its a story of Shock, Disbelief, Despair and realisation.  
  
I dont own these characters (I wudnt b writing a fanfic if i did would i?!) Please r/r, i want to know thoughts!  
  
Okay, here we go!  
  
**************************************************************************** *********** Chapter one.  
  
Raven woke up and looked up at her ceiling. It shone a strange shade of black in the half light. "What time is it?" she thought lazily pulling her clock towards her. The clocks red letters shone, 6.00. Great. She was early, as usual. She got up and walked over to the door, about to go into the bathroom to get ready, then go and read her books. Grabbing a towel she headed in the same direction, the same look as always was on her face. No emotions. She paused as she closed the door behind her. So what if she had no emotions. Maybe they were a potential weakness. She considered this as she cleaned her teeth. Wiping her mouth she looked at her face in the mirror. Her hair was dishevelled, she straightened it with her hand. Her face was pale and gothic as usual. She sighed again. Then standing up straight mentally shook herself. WHY DOES THAT MATTER??? an angry voice raged inside.  
  
BOOM! the light above the sink exploded. "Erk," Rae groned as she turned on the bigger light. Damn her emotions. They were the biggest nuscience (sp?) in the world. Raven stepped into the shower silently, with silent thoughts, the way she liked it. Then finishing up, she dressed in her Teen titan outfit, as always. Doing up the belt buckle, she suddenly had an impulsion to pull up her hood. So she did. Then grabbing her towel strided back across to her room.  
  
Closing the door, the darkness enveloped her and she suddenly wanted to open her window, strangely suffocated by not just her room but her thoughts. She glanced at her clock as she walked over the room. She picked it up. The red letters shone 7.00. She was surprised, as she opened the window to see the other titans outside, enjoying the early morning sunshine. Starfire was running around madly looking at flowers, her mouth gabbling away at Robin who was in her clutch as she darted around. "Star is odd." thought Rae smiling "but in a good way." Raven looked across at the dazed Robin, and nearly laughed. His face was a picture. He obviously wanted to scream at Star but Rae knew he didnt have the heart. He really loved Starfire with all his heart, but he didnt know how to tell her. "There" Raven said sharply to herself "is a perfect example of feelings getting in the way. And what a waste of Robin, hes....a good guy. And Star is good too." she grimaced. "Relationships. Pffft." Looking across she saw Cyborg. He was sitting on the grass, laughing at Robins problem. And on the floor next to him was...a...a... Raven squinted, then rolled her eyes under her hood. A Gameboy. Typical Cy. There was only one titan left to look at...but Rae was scared to look at him, the mood she was in. Nevertheless, there was the shapeshifter, in a cat form, creeping up on an unsuspecting butterfly. As Beast Boy pounced, the butterfly flew off, causing him to land on his nose. Raven had to stifle a chuckle. But then, as he turned back in to the green guy that she knew, she felt a flicker. Only a second, but the second it lasted it was bliss. It felt like a warm substance was bubbling inside Rae and was swirling into her brain. Fireworks felt like they were exploding. BOOM BOOM BOOM! Then there was a real BOOM as the alarm clock exploded in Ravens hand. She was so shocked she fell on the floor. Dusting herself of, she scooped up the broken clock and dropped it in the bin. Emotions, she thought, cost me a hell of a lot of money.  
  
SO?? what you guys think?? should i keep writing, or not??? Shall i leave it there? ^_^ R/R please!! ~*Chibi*~ 


	2. Enter Robin

Hey! I wrote chapter two last night! I hope you guys enjoy it! Characters not owned! Please r/r for me! Ja! ~*Chibi*~  
  
Chapter two.  
  
Raven was so shook up over her feelings that she decided to spend the rest of the day in her room in solitude.She concentrated on finishing some poems, and meditating - even reading, but nothing worked. Her poems, when she re-read them, were muddled and messed up. She kept on falling out of her trances (and onto the floor!) And when she read, her thoughts buzzed so she kept on blowing up the light bulb, plunging herself into darkness. She sighed, using her powers to lift up the shards of glass and place them into the bin.  
  
'Stupid emotions' she thought, as the shards clattered noisily into the bin. "They are ruining my life." she added out loud, without thinking. She lowered her head. "What are?" said a familiar voice at the door. A glimmer inside of Rae thought that it may have been BB. 'What the hell sparked that thought?' she mused silently, in her head. But, sadly, she knew the owner of the voice, and it wasnt him. "Robin, what are you doing in my room." Raven said in her monotone voice, without even looking up. "Sorry Rae. Its just we all wondered where you were, so I just came up to see if everything was okay. Its kinda sunny outside, d'ya want to come out with us?" said Robin, evenly. Raven looked at him."No thanks." she said, lowering her head again. "Im, uh...busy." "Yeah, right. I figured you would say that." Robin added, scratching his head. "C'mon, Rae, whats eating ya?" "You dont know, or care about that." said Raven, pulling her hood up. "Now leave me alone." Robin looked mildly surprised and sad. "Okay Rae, if thats how you feel. I'll go and tell the others. Sorry I bothered ya." He wandered out, closing the door behind him.  
  
'Why did I do that?' Raven said angrily in her head. 'I know I want to go and spend time with them all...but...' She walked over to the window, slowly, and jealously looked out at her titan friends. Robin had rejoined them all, and now, Starfire was sitting next to him looking up at him smiling. Robin was loving the attention, Raven could tell. She glanced slowly over to the other two, and saw Cy and BB crouched over the Gameboy, waving their arms, laughing and pushing each other onto the grass. Raven touched the cold glass softly and shuddered. She turned away and walked over to her bed slowly then fell down on it with a huge CLUNK.  
  
She was tired, frustrated and confused but curious, all at the same time. Suddenly, she heard a strange voice in her head. "Look at all these emotions you are feeling," said the voice. "Look at yourself and your feelings. For Beast boy.." it added gently. She sat bolt upright clutching her head and frowning. 'NO WAY am I having feelings. For anyone' she told the voice angrily. "Remember that feeling, this morning?" said the voice echoing round her brain. "Remember Rae, Remember?" 'Of course, but that was a one off, it was nothing...it was..." she trailed off "You know what it was, Raven, you know that feeling." said the voice. 'I dont know. I dont have any feelings.' she said lying. "Your only lying to yourself. You are in love. With Beast boy. Arent you Raven? Arent you?" It echoed in her head. "NO!I'M NOT! GO AWAY!" screamed Raven shaking her head. The voice disappeared, and once again silence soothed her mind. She fell back onto the bed, in shock, her arms over her head, her hood down and sweat on her forhead. 'What the hell was that?' she thought to herself.  
  
What do you guys think??? Will Raven tell BB? Is it tru?? I think I'll leave it there...mwahahahahahaha! ^_^ Nah, I will go on, so long as you all R/R please! ~*Chibi*~ 


	3. Girl talk

Heya everyone, Ive just finished the third chapter! Im really enjoying writing a fanfic so, there has been quite a lot recently! This chapters a direct follow on to the last one! Please R/R! Disclaimer - I dont own teen titans....(I can dream ^.^;) tiny bit of swearing in this chapter. PG13! ~*Chibi*~ Gothic Dancer Of Falling Rain - I am glad you like it! Please keep going! (More raven definitely, cos its all gonna b from her POV!) Thanx to other reviews, keep on reading!  
  
**************************************************************************** **************************** Chapter three  
  
"Raven?" said a voice timidly."I am worried for your health." It was Starfire, who had opened Ravens door so timidly, Rae hadn't noticed.  
  
Raven sat up, wiping her face and pulling up her hood quickly. "I'm fine." She added hastily.  
  
"No, I fear that you are...going round the corner, as it is said." replied a concerned Starfire.  
  
Raven rolled her eyes. "Round the BEND, Star. And Im not. I'm just...tired." Which was partly true, Rae told herself.  
  
Starfire gingerly walked towards the goth girl, who made no attempt to stop her. Star motioned to the dark bed. "May I sit down?" she said timidly.  
  
"Whatever." said Raven sounding uninterested. Secretely, she wanted Starfire to stay and talk to her, but she wasn't going to say so.  
  
"Raven, I wish for us to have a 'girl talk' as they say on this planet." Starfire said, slightly more boldly. Raven looked up coldly at the slim figure who sat next to her.  
  
"Hmmm," she said "exactly what do you want to talk about." Starfire raised her head, almost to show that she was in full control of her actions and the situation.  
  
"I wish for for you to just listen to what I have to say and then tell me what you are thinking, after I have said it." Starfire said in one breath.  
  
Raven raised an eyebrow. "Errmmm..."  
  
But Starfire had begun. "I am worried for you Raven. You never spend any time with us, but we need you. Are we not your friends? We never, as it is said "hang out". I fear that this has got worse recently and so I wished to speak to you. Please Raven, tell me what is wrong. I am your friend. I will most definitely understand."  
  
"No you wont." Raven sighed sadly. "Noone ever does." Starfire grinned as if she had won. "AHHHH! But I am not this noone of which you speak!" she exclaimed.  
  
Raven looked at the auburn haired girl. Star seemed genuinly concerned. Raven was secretly touched, but said nothing. Starfire was so...innocent.  
  
"Hmmmm." repeated Raven, as she put a hand out and a black force flew out and slammed the door shut, making Starfire jump. Rae pulled down her hood.  
  
"I...I...I.." stammered Raven, her voice going quiet. She coughed. "Yes?" said Starfire. "Continue...?"  
  
"I've been having emotions...feelings recently." Raven began slowly. "And why is that wrong?"  
  
Raven looked up angrily. " You know what happens when I start to feel things." she said sharply, as her book flew across the room and slammed into the wall. Starfire watched it nervously.  
  
"Um," she said cautiously "Yes, I do remember. But usually you can control this...problem..." "Yeah, thats the real problem," said Raven sadly."Recently, there has been something...a feeling...which is throwing all my powers off."  
  
"What feeling is that, Raven?" Starfire said, looking up at the face of someone riddled with troubles.  
  
"I...I..." began Raven, making a descicion. "I..dont know." she lied. "It could be..." began Starfire, also making a descision. "...a temporary thing..." she finished uncertainly.  
  
"Thats not what you were going to say. What are you thinking Starfire? " Raven eyed her suspiciously. "I was just thinking of things. It was nothing!" Star said brightly. " This was a truly interesting talk. Do not worry Raven." she added touching her friends shoulder. She began to walk out.  
  
"WAIT!" yelled Raven. "Yes?" said Starfire turning around. "It important that this 'interesting talk' remains a 'girl talk' and nothing more."  
  
"I do not fully understand...." began Starfire slowly. "It means, tell anyone and I'll kill you." Raven pulled her hood up, her voice emotionless again. Starfire nodded. "Goodbye Raven," she said waving, then shutting the door as she flew out.  
  
Raven frowned. Something was bothering her. Starfire wasnt just collecting her thoughts. She was thinking of something.  
  
Rae closed her eyes and concentrated on tapping into Stars mind. She was normally only telekenetic but she had studyed hard to poke around with some telepathic ones. She chanted quietly to herself..and it finally worked.  
  
STARFIRES HEAD: "Poor, Poor Raven. I wonder if she knows what the problem is really. I do not know whether I should have told her what I believe the problem to be. Oh, if only she knew the reason. The strong emotion she is feeling has got to be love. The same sort of feeling I have for Robin. But....I believe that Raven loves..Beast Boy!"  
  
Raven snapped back into her own head, panting. She felt a cold dred. Starfires words were ringing in her head. "I believe Raven loves Beast boy. Loves Beast boy. Raven loves Beast Boy..." She put her hands over her ears. 'Fuck it.' Raven thought. 'She knows...'  
  
**************************************************************************** *** Dun Dun duuuuuun! O.o  
  
Hahaha! I need some more reviews desperately! More inspiration to keep on writing! If I get some, I'll put the next chapter up. Thanks to those who have r/r previously. It means a lot! Also, i tryed to do some different indenting, so if it doesnt show up its the way ff.net have put it up! I had done a different sort of indentation on my other two chapters but they came out as solid blocks. Anyway, *crosses fingers* Bye for now! ~*Chibi*~ 


	4. the first encounter

Hey! Thanks to those who have reviewed. I know my chapters are short but there will be many more to come, as long as people want me to write more. So if you want to know what happens, r/r (its the blue box at the bottom left, at the end of this chapter!) Anyway, dedication of this chapter to patriot1 who got me interested in the whole BB&R thing. Wuv ya! ^_^ Gracias! ~*Chibi*~ Disclaimer : I dont own teen titans... (I know you know that!) ON WITH THE FIIIIC! . **************************************************************************** **  
  
Chapter four - the first encounter  
  
That evening, Raven had dinner quickly, and got away.  
  
She was terrified that Starfire may have said something.  
  
She, herself, wished that they hadn't talked. 'Although' Raven thought, as she paced up the stairs 'it did feel pretty good to talk to someone.'  
  
She'd never done that before, she'd always been used to dealing with things in her own head, in her own way.  
  
But this was something too strong. Talking aleviated some of the pain, which was a start.  
  
Raven stepped into the dusk, on top of the titans tower.  
  
It was about 7.00pm, so the air was cool, but only mildly, as it was half way through summer.  
  
She took a deep breath of air, and sat on the floor, pulling her hood up.  
  
She looked over the viewpoint.  
  
Rae had never really appreciated how calm it was up here, and easy to think.  
  
Her legs were stretched out infront of her, and her hands behind her, holding her up.  
  
She looked up into the sky. Lost in a whirl of thoughts, she did not hear the footsteps on the roof behind her.  
  
"Errrm?" a voice began.  
  
Raven suddenly lost her balance and fell flat on her back.  
  
Looking up, she saw a pair of upside down green eyes looking down at her.  
  
'Please let it be Star,' she thought, though she knew those emerald eyes all to well.  
  
"Hello, Beast boy." She said uneasily, but covering it up well enough.  
  
Her emotionless voice sounded as cold as the night air.  
  
"Hi.Can I join you? Or do you want to be..." Beast boy said as uneasily as Raven.  
  
"No," she interrupted." You can sit. This isnt my room you know. I was just thinking."  
  
"Oh, yeah? What about?" said BB amicably plonking down on the floor next to her.  
  
Rae blushed under her hood. She had a good coverup, luckily.  
  
"I was...musing over my poems." she droned, looking anywhere but at BB.  
  
"Why did you come up here?" she asked casually, making her voice as normal as possible.  
  
"I wondered if you were okay. Earlier, Robin said you seemed upset about something."  
  
"Oh, did he now?" said Raven, slightly angry, but glad all the same that BB cared.  
  
"Yeah. Dont tell him I told you dude, please." said BB nervously.  
  
"Sure."sighed Raven. "Theres no point anyway."  
  
The shapeshifter breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks Rae." He smiled. She looked at him.  
  
"So, are you okay then?" he asked, sounding more concerned than Star.  
  
"Really, Im fine, Robin was....exaggerating." Raven sighed sadly.  
  
BB looked at Raven properly. "I didnt expect you to talk to me. I just thought you might want some company. When I feel low, I just go hang out with Cy, play some games. But..your...different."  
  
Raven felt a tear rolling down her cheek. 'BB obviously thinks im boring too' she thought.  
  
"But," Beast boy continued cautiously "Thats cool. I mean, everyones different. Thats what makes us...y'know... unique. And you are unique, and special Rae. Dont let anyone tell you any different."  
  
Another tear fell down Ravens face. Then another. And another, until she was crying silently.  
  
She opened her mouth but she couldnt speak. Tears began to leak into her mouth.  
  
Beast boy looked at her. He knew she was crying. But he didnt say anything.  
  
He just put his hand on hers. "Its okay,dude," he reassured her "to cry sometimes, you know."  
  
Raven didnt move his hand.  
  
She felt the most reassured she ever had in her life. 'He must know Im crying' thought Rae.  
  
She finally found her voice.  
  
"Thanks Beast boy." She gripped his hand tightly. "Your a real friend." she sniffed.  
  
"Heh. Im also the champion at PS2!" he giggled.  
  
Raven pulled her hood down with her free hand. "I bet I could beat you."  
  
BB looked at her. She had slightly red eyes, but still looked as gorgeous as ever. He smiled.  
  
"Could not." he said sticking his tongue out. (a/n: this is bb remember!!!!Gotto love him! ^^)  
  
Raven actually smiled. But as she did, the window behind her exploded.  
  
Her smile vanished suddenly.  
  
She stood up, loosing her grip on BeastBoys hand.  
  
"I have to go." she said, with a hint of sadness, covered up well enough.  
  
BeastBoy stood up and looked at her.  
  
"I know." he said, not disguising his sadness.  
  
She turned to walk off, her hair blowing in the wind.  
  
She suddenly turned back, and with a slightly red face said "Thanks."  
  
Then, pulling her hood up, turned and stalked off to her room.  
  
BeastBoy nearly melted on the spot. He smiled.  
  
"Your welcome Raven." He said, even though she had already slammed her door.  
  
**************************************************************  
  
AWwwWWWwwwWW! *tears in eyes* I really enjoyed writing that!!! R/R so I can write some more!!!!! ^_^ Btw, incase you didnt notice, I like the bb&r and R&SF pairing, so thats the way the storys going! With some twists along the way, I assure you. Ja, for now! ~*Chibi*~ REVIEW!!! 


	5. Into the mirror

I put a lot of thought into this chapter, it has some strong language!  
  
The strong language is there because sometimes it is the only way that I feel I can put across Ravens true feelings, so sorry if I offend anyone. *bows*  
  
Thank you for all the kind reviews. Some replys now.  
  
gohon ssj4- Thanks for the ideas. The reason for the characters simply "appearing" is that this fic is aimed at TT fans, so I didnt think it was necessary, if that is what you meant...O_o; At the moment this story is looking on being very long. So in later chapters Im thinking of putting your 'BB darkside' stuff in! Def good advice. Seriously, thanks for taking the time to write an in depth review, and any ideas in the future are welcome! ^^  
  
purplerave - thanks a lot, I will keep going, now I know people like it! And im glad you like it! Much appreciated! ^_^  
  
Patriot1 - thanks as always, read above reply for other stuff, but thanks again. ^^  
  
Leviathan680 - thank you. That line just came to me as I was typing. I like it too, so I left it in! hehe, please keep reading/reviewing. ^^  
  
screamingmonkeydemons - I will! Please keep reading. ^_^  
  
Right, well... R/R! On with the fic!  
  
~*Chibi*~  
  
Disclaimer: I dont own teen titans....(unfortunately! ^^)  
  
**************************************************************************** *********************** Chapter five. - Into the mirror  
  
Raven slammed the door shut, her heart pounding faster than it ever had in a while.  
  
'Oh my GOD!' a voice squealed in her head. 'What the hell just happened?!?!'  
  
'Was B..Beast boy h...h...hitting on me?!' she thought, her thoughts all confused.  
  
The telekenetic began to panic, and her lamp flew round her head, in a black orb, outlined with white.  
  
"Deep breaths,"she told herself."Calm. Calm. You are Raven. You are fine. Do not panic."  
  
She put her hand out, and the lamp landed gently in her sweaty palm.  
  
She put it down gently, then sat down on her bed.  
  
She spoke out loud. "Now think, Raven. Beast boy cannot have been hitting on you. He was just comforting you. Thats what friends do. Isnt it? Oh for fucks sake." she said harshly, smacking her hand down on the bed. What the hell was up with her today?  
  
She went over to her desk of draws and gently opened the left one, taking out her mirror. (A/N : To those who dont know, this mirror is a portal into Ravens mind, showing all her sides. *see the episode 'nevermore', for more information!*)  
  
She stepped inside.  
  
There she saw herself hunched on the floor, in a red cloak outlined with orange.  
  
This was a very new emotion to Raven.  
  
It was 'Worry'. She didnt often see it, because it wasnt often a part of her life.  
  
Right now, it was the biggest.  
  
Rae slowly walked towards Worry, who was chanting to herself, inaudiably, on the floor.  
  
"Hey." Said Raven sitting down beside her emotion.  
  
"Whats wrong with me?"  
  
Worry looked up at her. "You are worried."  
  
Raven rolled her eyes.  
  
"Yes, I got that." she said angrily and impatiently, making Worry shake in fear.  
  
Raven contained herself. Regaining a little patience she turned to Worry.  
  
"What am I worried about?" she asked gently. The emotion sat up and looked at her.  
  
"You do not know?" it said. Raven shook her head, still looking at Worry's tired, sad face.  
  
"You are worried about all the new feelings that are growing inside of you. They break all the boundries of any emotion to which you have succumbed before. One, rises inside you, growing ever more powerful, day by day. You cannot stop it Raven. You know this. And this is why you are worried." It finished, wringing its hands, in a worried fashion.  
  
Ravens eyes widened with every word that Worry spoke. She knew that her emotions could only speak the truth.  
  
She also knew almost certainly what this 'powerful emotion' was, but she had to be sure.  
  
She looked up at Worry. "What emotion do you speak of?" she said boldly.  
  
Worry didnt answer.  
  
She merely pointed to a glowing light in the distance, then resumed her previous hunched position again.  
  
Raven looked up, in the dirrection where Worry had pointed.  
  
She began to walk towards the bright golden light. It drew her, like a moth to a flame.  
  
There, she saw an emotion, she had never seen before.  
  
It was cloaked in the most beautiful gold cape, which let out a hundred different colours with each 'swish' of the fabric.  
  
It shone so brightly, that Raven was momentarily blinded.  
  
As her focus gradually adjusted, she saw the emotion properly.  
  
It was definitely Raven, but with a more healthy and pretty look about her.  
  
This emotion seemed in almost inescapable bliss.  
  
Raven secretly longed to understand this emotion, whatever it was.  
  
She walked over slowly.  
  
"Hello." She said to the cloaked figure. The emotion turned to look at her, and the face lit up.  
  
"Raven." it said simply, and it smiled warmly.  
  
Raven had so many questions she wanted to ask, but there seemed one appropriate.  
  
"Who are you?" gasped Raven, with a queer feeling in her stomach.  
  
'This is it' she thought nervously. 'My destiny. My fate.'  
  
The emotion looked at her sorrowfully. "You know who I am."  
  
"No I dont." insisted Raven, starting to get angry with the emotion now.  
  
"Ah yes." It said, turning fully, whilst the cloak gleamed a million colours again.  
  
"Denial." It said simply.  
  
"W-w-what?!" stammered Raven, taking a step backwards. "Your Denial?"  
  
"You look surprised." the emotion laughed.  
  
"Why?" it asked innocently.  
  
"I...I...thought you were..." Raven swallowed, "...love."  
  
"What made you think that?" said Denial taking a step towards her.  
  
"B..Because..of..." began Raven, begining to doubt her own sanity."..... Beast boy." She finished.  
  
"Do you love him?" asked Denial, turning its head on one side, playfully.  
  
"I..do-on't...I.....don't...know..." said Raven, with a confused look on her face.  
  
"Do you love him?" repeated the emotion, looking curiously at Raven. "You must know. Look into your heart Raven."  
  
Raven closed her eyes.  
  
Flashes of Beast Boy ran through her mind. His stupid jokes, his obsession with tofu, his cute kitty look, his smile, him fighting, his hand on hers.....  
  
A few minutes later, Raven opened her eyes again. "I...I do." she said simply.  
  
Denial floated up into the air.  
  
There was a tremendous explosion, and Raven ducked.  
  
A shadow floated down past Raven onto the floor.  
  
She opened her eyes, blinking in awe. The emotion had changed.  
  
She was wearing a white cloak, but not of the sort which was formed when Raven united her emotions. No, this was different. (A/N: again, see 'Nevermore!!')  
  
This 'Raven' was literally all white.  
  
The white hair flowed silkily around the emotions head, the gem glowed white and the cloak seemed to be forever blown in the wind. It rippled softly.  
  
This was a side of herself Raven had never EVER seen before. And yet...  
  
....there was something about the emotion which Raven liked. A lot.  
  
She spoke to her new side.  
  
"What happened?" she asked, taking in the new feeling.  
  
"Acceptance destroyed denial." said the echoing voice of the white clad figure.  
  
"And created..." continued Raven, curiously.  
  
"Love. Love, which you cannot deny anymore, Raven. You admitted it yourself, so there is no escaping the truth anymore. This is the way you feel." said Love smiling.  
  
And then, taking one more glance at Love, Raven went backwards - she fell out of the mirror, and back into Titan tower.  
  
Sitting up, groggily she shook her head.  
  
Standing up, she put the mirror away, and sat down on her bed.  
  
She had a lot of thinking to do. **************************************************************************** *******************  
  
Okay, so I made up some of the emotions! At least, they havent been done yet!(I dont think..) I would've told you at the top, but that would have ruined the surprise!!! ^_^  
  
R/R please! (This is my fave chapter so far! I was really engrossed in it!)  
  
I hope it is alright..I was thinking of cutting it, but it fits the story together nicely.  
  
Want more? Reveiw me at the bottom left please, and the next chapter will be up sooooon!  
  
Ja! ~*Chibi*~ ^_^ 


	6. Rage

Heloooo! My sixth chapter finished O_O I cannot believe it at all! But Im so glad it is! In this chapter you may recognise some of the old Raven, we know and love! But remember throughout, she is having a crisis in her head, so she isnt like the normal controlled Raven we know. Just a reminder! Thanks for the reviews! *weeps* you are sooo kind! Replies! Patriot1 - What to say but thank you much much much! ^_^  
  
ScreamingMonkeyDemons - you are so sweet! I really apreciate your words. ^_^  
  
Sunset - thanks a lot, that was really sweet too, but I promise this is my first ever fic! Promise! ^_^ Im very flattered.  
  
Courtney - *GLOMPS* OH my goodd! ^___^ that was a surprise! Thanks for the review! Your sweet!  
  
S. Mark Gunther .;; I am not sure what you mean about HTML but i tryed to spread it out a bit more this time. Thanks for the support! ^^  
  
Disclaimer : I dont own teen titans. (But then, you already knew that!!! ^_^)  
  
Read, enjoy, then Review! ~*Chibi*~ **************************************************************************** *  
  
Chapter six. - Rage.  
  
Raven was still sitting on the bed at 2 am the next morning.  
  
She looked at the clock, in a sudden pause from her thoughts.  
  
She did a double take. Her eyes widened.  
  
'I have been sitting here for 6 hours' she silently thought in shock.  
  
'What am I thinking?' she scolded.  
  
Sighing, she got up, about to get into bed, then glanced out of the window.  
  
She gasped.  
  
The light was amazing. Moonlight shone onto Jump city making it look like the twilight zone.  
  
But Raven savoured every second.  
  
She walked over, uncontrollably. She had to look out!  
  
'Beast boy would love this.' she told herself.  
  
Her eyes widened, her head straightened in fear.  
  
'What did I just say?!' she asked in a worried frame of mind.  
  
She swallowed, rubbing her temples.  
  
'I didnt just think about beast boy, I didnt just think about beast boy....'she chanted softly.  
  
"I need air," she said out loud.  
  
Pulling her cloak on, she silently glided like a shadow, upstairs, to the top of Titan tower.  
  
The cold wind hit her face as she stepped out.  
  
"Ahhhhh." she sighed gently.  
  
Then her eyes got used to the darkness. And she saw a figure in the half light.  
  
Frozen to the spot, she looked carefully.  
  
It was hopeless. It was too dark to see.  
  
The "person" was standing..no...leaning on the balcony.  
  
Tall and slim. Long hair blowing in the wind.  
  
'Its got to be Starfire.' thought Raven taking one step closer. Then she froze again.  
  
'Hold on,' she thought. 'It could be Blackfire,there so similar, being sisters, and I cant see the hair colour from here. Her face is turned away too!'  
  
Raven breathed shallowly, so as not to attract the 'persons' attention.  
  
She closed her eyes.  
  
Poking the mind gently, she realised, with great relief that it was only Star after all.  
  
'So, now what?' said a voice.  
  
Raven ignored it and walked forwards, towards the alien girl.  
  
"Cant sleep?" said Raven, gently, causing Starfire to jump and summon a Star bolt instinctivly.  
  
"Oh, Raven, it is only you." she sighed, collapsing on the floor.  
  
"Something on your mind?" said an emotionless Raven from under her hood.  
  
"No!" said Star "everything is wonderful and..."  
  
A withering look from Raven later, the Tamaranian changed her tone.  
  
"Everything is not wonderful. Everything is confusing." sobbed Star, sadly.  
  
"Ah." said Raven gently. "Robin?"  
  
Breifly, Starfire sniffed and looked up. "How did you-"  
  
"I just know." droned Raven, looking out over the moonlit water.  
  
"Time for another girl talk?"  
  
Starfire leant against the railings, her head in her hands. (A/N: I cant remember if titan tower has railings on the roof, but for the purpose of my story it does! thanks!)  
  
"Robin..." she sighed softly. "I...do not know how to say what I feel for him. He is my best friend and.."  
  
Starfire stopped awkwardly.  
  
She could feel the colour rising in her cheeks.  
  
Raven carried on for her.  
  
"You are feeling..." Raven said in a monotone voice "...Love." She stated.  
  
Starfire looked at Raven and smiled. "Do you think so? Truly?" Raven nodded.  
  
"Well," said Starfire, more brightly "I suppose you must know the feeling."  
  
Raven turned sharply, breathing quickly.  
  
"What does that mean?" she said menicingly.  
  
Starfire blinked, realising what she had just said.  
  
"I...We...You..." she began,getting frightened by the look in Ravens eyes." B..B..east boy..."  
  
"What do you mean, B-beast boy?" mocked Raven, starting to get really mad now.  
  
"I thought Raven that you maybe liked him. A lot....loved him maybe..." Starfire said, realising she had made a huuuge mistake.  
  
"Well you thought WRONG!" said Raven, her voice rising, her blood pounding in her ears.  
  
Starfire realised she was in above her head.  
  
Unwisely, she kept on struggling. "Are you sure Raven? It could be why you are having the problem..."  
  
"Beast boy has nothing to do with anything." said a really angry Raven. Five windows smashed in a row. Raven looked at them, then turned and walked off.  
  
"Raven...I..." began Starfire slowly.  
  
"Leave me ALONE." shouted Raven. But Starfire, in her naivety ran after her and grabbed her arm. "Please Raven.."  
  
"Azarath...Metrion...Zinthos." said Raven, and Starfire was pushed backwards by the black aura.  
  
She landed unharmed, but she felt like her body was aching anyway, in sorrow.  
  
The door slammed behind Raven, and Starfire got up slowly.  
  
"I think..." she began "I will make some sadness pudding."  
  
And sobbing, she ran down to the kitchen.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* ^*^*  
  
Ravens had to really contain herself, to close her door quietly.  
  
She didnt want to wake any of the other titans, the mood she was in. 'Oh, holy shit.' she said solemnly ' What did I do? Poor Star.'  
  
She screamed.  
  
She was trying to release the anger and agony inside her.  
  
Luckily, her room was soundproof to those outside. (A/N: is this true? Im sure I read this somewhere...my apologies if it isnt!)  
  
Something behind her exploded.  
  
"Lightbulb." she sighed, feeling a bit better after yelling, but stupid at the same time.  
  
She felt more depressed than ever as she scooped up the glass in her hands.  
  
She felt too drained to use her powers.  
  
Then, there beside the lightbulb, or what remained of it, was a smashed photoframe.  
  
'Huh?' Raven said curiously.  
  
She picked it up, and pushed away the shattered glass on the top.  
  
She gasped. This picture was one she kept in the darkest corner of her room, save anyone seeing it EVER.  
  
In the last few days, surprisingly, she had completely forgotton all about it.  
  
It was a picture from the winter just passed.  
  
It was the only one she had, of just her..and Beast boy. But noone ever knew..or remembered.  
  
One night, something had kind of 'possesed' her.  
  
Earlier that winters day, the winter photo prints had come through, and after looking through them, the titans left them on the side.  
  
That night, possesed by herself..she walked down and took the picture.  
  
Noone had said anything about it.  
  
It was a photo of them both.  
  
Beast boy had his back turned to her, and she to him.  
  
Their faces, faced the camera.  
  
He was smiling and raising an eyebrow, and she, save smiling, was doing the same. (A/N: Cheesy, but read on!!!)  
  
She knew it looked stupid and cheesy, but they both looked so at peace.  
  
And she always looked, hoping that some day she would tell him that..that...  
  
The photo dropped out of her hands as if it were on fire.  
  
'Tell him what?' she thought. She sat there quietly, floating in a dream world.  
  
Eventually, she picked up the photo again.  
  
Water hit the page. Then some more. Raven was gently crying at her thoughts.  
  
'I can't deny this any longer' she sighed, wiping her eyes softly 'because I stopped that already.'  
  
"I have to tell him" she said out loud, in determination.  
  
And with that she got up and opened the door.  
  
She closed it gently, and silently as she could, she glided down the corridors till she got to BeastBoy's bedroom.  
  
Shaking, her hand reached for the door.  
  
She jumped, as it was so cold.  
  
'Cold as my heart without any love', she thought. 'His love.' she added.  
  
Her hand tightened around the handle. "I'll go in." she said out loud.  
  
Her grip loosened.  
  
'I cant. She thought. ' I just cant.' A tear trickled down her cheek and hit the floor.  
  
She looked up. 'But I have to,' she thought. And closing her eyes, she opened Beast boys door.  
  
************************************************************************* I think that this chapter is slightly longer, but that is okay! I hope you enjoyed it!  
  
Sorry about the Cliffhanger...but Review and I promise you it will be updated soon! I mean we cant leave Raven outside BB's Room now can we??  
  
Hahah...ooh the joy. ^^ Im laughing cos I know what is happening next!  
  
Hehe. I know I said this a million times but REVIEW! Bottom left! *smiles wider than Starfire*  
  
Gracias! JA! ~*Chibi*~ 


	7. The dream

Hey! I am here with my seventh chapter! *falls off chair in shock*  
  
Thanks again for all the lovely reviews.  
  
Oh and soon, there will be a special request from me, but more about that later! Some Replies.  
  
Moey25- Thanks very much! Its real nice to know people enjoy cliffies! Sorry bout the cursing...I'll try and keep it to a minimum..I dont think there is any in this chpt! ^^  
  
dragonmaster01 - Ravens great isnt she? so much fun to write. She def. does rock, and I will keep writing, thnks for the review. ^_^  
  
Patriot1 - Hehe, sorry bout the evil cliffie ~^_^~ Keep going! (Ah starfire...Im not saying anything..but keep reading!)  
  
Bill - Thanx. I hope you enjoy this chapter also!  
  
Right...on with the fic! (direct follow on from previous chapter!)  
  
~*Chibi*~  
  
Disclaimer : I do not own the teen titans. If I did then I would be a millionaire, and this story wouldnt be a fanfic It would be an actual story! (well you get the idea!)  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
Chapter seven. - The dream  
  
The door swung open to reveal Beast boy, snoring peacefully.  
  
She floated over to the bed and looked at his face, softly breathing.  
  
'He looks so cute...'Raven thought, grinning.  
  
She nearly fell over with the shock of her thoughts.  
  
But, he really did look cute.  
  
His arms were above his head and his mouth was slightly open. His hair was all ruffled up, his eyes were closed gently.  
  
Raven looked at him again, taking in his face properly for the first time.  
  
'And no drool,' she thought smiling to herself.  
  
She put her hand up to her face.  
  
'Ive got to be careful in here,' she thought.  
  
'If I smash something, he'll wake up, for sure...'  
  
Suddenly, Beastboy moved onto his side.  
  
He smiled.  
  
His eyes were still closed.  
  
'I wonder what he is dreaming about,' mused Rae, pulling her hood down, and landing quietly on the floor.  
  
She longed to reach out and touch his face.  
  
Beside herself, she reached up.  
  
Only realising what she was doing a split second before she did, she stopped.  
  
'Oh my God' thought Raven, breathing a sigh of relief.  
  
She sat down on his floor, and watched him silently for a few minutes.  
  
After a while, Beast boy began to stir again.  
  
"No..." he muttered quietly. "She doesn't..."  
  
Raven looked at him.  
  
"What?" she said out of instinct.  
  
Realising her mistake too late, she covered her mouth with her hand and prayed he wouldnt awaken.  
  
He didn't.  
  
'Good thing he is a deep sleeper.' she thought.  
  
She relaxed again, but her thoughts began to wander in her head.  
  
'What did he mean, she doesnt? What was he dreaming about?'  
  
Then Raven had an idea.  
  
'Telepathically, I could look at what he was dreaming. But it'll only last for a few seconds.' she mused, sighing.  
  
She decided that it was worth a shot.  
  
Pulling her hood up she closed her eyes.  
  
She concentrated on tapping into telepathy.  
  
She willed it to show her inside BeastBoy's head.  
  
It did, but only briefly.  
  
*Beastboys Dream* (A/N : this will be from BB's point of veiw obviously!)  
  
The sun was glazing my path as I flew up towards my favourite spot.  
  
The mountainside.  
  
I flew up, in eagle form, relishing the mountain air on my face. I smiled.  
  
I landed, and changing back sat on the expanse of rocky outcrop, on a patch of grass.  
  
'Ahhh.' I sighed. It was perfect. But I didnt have the perfect person to share it with.  
  
I stopped and corrected myself. I had the perfect person, but she didnt realise it yet.  
  
She doesnt know I love her.  
  
She doesnt know that I would die for her.  
  
She doesnt know that seeing her face everyday is what makes my life worth living.  
  
'Raven' I said without thinking. 'No. She doesnt....love me back.'  
  
Suddenly, a purple dot appeared ont the horizon.  
  
It got closer.  
  
It was her!  
  
She landed gracefully beside me.  
  
I stood up to greet her but she put her hand by my face, silencing me.  
  
She walked over, we drew closer and......  
  
****************************************************  
  
Raven snapped back to reality.  
  
Her hands were shaking.  
  
She had sweat on her face.  
  
Her cheeks felt hot.  
  
Was she...blushing? Her thoughts were mixed up.  
  
'Did I...Did he...Did we?!' she thought all at once.  
  
She panted.  
  
Panicking, she saw a few items of clothing levetating around the room.  
  
Slowly, she willed them down.  
  
Calming down slightly, and recognising her surroundings once more, she drew her breath, and looked again at Beastboy.  
  
He was still asleep dreaming peacefully.  
  
He smiled once again.  
  
'Dreaming about...me' thought Raven.  
  
She found to her surprise that she was smiling too.  
  
She stood up. Taking one last look at the sleeping shapeshifter, she whispered to him.  
  
"Goodnight. I love you."  
  
She began to walk out.  
  
She didnt need to tell him tonight. It could wait.  
  
She closed the door quietly behind her.  
  
Dreamily, she floated back to her room and closed the door.  
  
She walked over to the darkest corner.  
  
She picked up the photo, and moved it to her bedside table.  
  
She didnt care anymore.  
  
She knew he felt the same, and thats all she needed to know.  
  
She slid into bed, fully dressed.  
  
It was past 4.00am, but she didnt care.  
  
Sleepily, she drifted in and out of dreams of her own.  
  
Raven never wanted to wake up.  
  
****************************************************************************  
  
Wooohoo! ^_^  
  
I hope you enjoyed that! I did *me nods*  
  
So please R/R! *bottom left of the screen!*  
  
I'll write more soon!  
  
JA! ~*Chibi*~  
  
Oh and sorry if this chapter is shorter, but I think the next ones gonna be longer! xCx 


	8. Beast Boys dark past

This chapter is just for you 'gohon ssj4'.  
  
I think it fits in well with the story at this point.  
  
BTW. This will be the ONLY, I repeat ONLY chapter from BB's point of view. It wasnt originally planned but I figure it will straighten some stuff out, and maybe add a bit more irony.  
  
Anywho, read on, and see what you think ^_^  
  
~*Chibi*~  
  
OH and this may seem OOC but its INSIDE bbs head.  
  
If he is depressed inside, he may seem a bit OOC compared to the funny, cute BB we know.  
  
Anyway, lets see how this works out.-------  
  
Disclaimer: I dont own teen titans.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Chapter eight. - Beast boys dark past.  
  
I woke up suddenly, and looked at my clock.  
  
It was about 4.00am.  
  
I rubbed my head and yawned.  
  
I'm sure I was hearing things.  
  
Y'see, I was stirring when I thought I heard a voice saying :  
  
"Goodnight. I love you."  
  
Did I imagine it? Who was it?  
  
I closed my eyes recalling the voice.  
  
"Raven..." escaped my lips as I opened my eyes.  
  
I rolled them.  
  
'It was in my dream, obviously.' I thought, angered by myself.  
  
I lay back down again and decided to see if I could sleep a bit more.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ I had some troubled dreams.  
  
I really hate myself sometimes, only I forget about it when I'm with my friends.  
  
I suppose that the reason I feel this way is that I'm depressed inside.  
  
I would never admit it. Not even to myself.  
  
Noone knows, and noone is going to find out. Ever.  
  
As long as I'm "BeastBoy, number one goof" then it can stay private.  
  
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep.  
  
It really gets to me, y'know.  
  
Living in the shadow of someone you aren't can get damn cold.  
  
I cry because I dont want to live in a shadow.  
  
The sun looks so much warmer and more welcoming.  
  
So, at night, I let it out, and I feel a little of that warmth.  
  
But it is only a temporary aid for something which runs deep.  
  
Pain which is amplifyed everytime I see my face.  
  
Every time I transform.  
  
"Acceptance" is supposed to be the first step of healing.  
  
Yeah, right.  
  
Who ever wrote that, never knew real pain.  
  
The pain which I'm feeling now.  
  
Sniffing, I sat up, wondering where my life was going.  
  
"Who am I?" I whispered into the dark.  
  
No answer.  
  
I crawled out of bed, and walked to the window.  
  
The sun was just rising over the city, which was bathed in early morning night.  
  
I opened my window.  
  
The light made the tears on my cheek glisten.  
  
Without thinking, I took off, out of the window, in the form of a raven, swooping up into the clouds.  
  
I saw a hill in the distance and flew towards it, hoping to just sit in the early morning atmosphere, and enjoy it.  
  
Heh, it didnt exactly work out like that.  
  
I just thought deeper about my dreams and my life in general.  
  
I spoke out loud daringly, even though there was noone for miles around.  
  
"I HATE MYSELF!" I screamed angrily, my cheeks flushed, hatred in my eyes. "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I JUST WANT TO FEEL LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AGAIN, I JUST WANT TO FEEL LOVED."  
  
My voice was whipped away by the summer breeze, and I closed my eyes tight, causing some tears to leak out.  
  
I put my head in my hands.  
  
I thought about the old days, about Mom and Dad.  
  
'Its my fault that they are dead' I whispered softly, rocking back and forth.  
  
I thought about the times I'd hurt my friends.  
  
The times that I had caused a criminal to get away.  
  
The times I winged.  
  
The times I had caused pain unnecessarily.  
  
'Its all my fault. Everything is my fault.' I whispered, falling on my back.  
  
The tears came, and I didnt stop them.  
  
My head was throbbing, and I was in pain but I didnt care.  
  
'I deserve way more than this' I thought, furiously.  
  
About a half hour passed, and I sat up.  
  
The sun had risen fully now, and I thought about the other titans stirring themselves.  
  
Raven was almost certainly going to be up.  
  
'Raven. Raven. Raven.' I thought over.  
  
Her face is always in my mind.  
  
I love her more than anything.  
  
Course, I'd never tell her.  
  
I'd rather we stayed friends than enemys.  
  
I couldnt bare for her to see me today. I was in a really odd mood.  
  
I stood up, and wiped my wet cheeks on my sleeve. I sniffed.  
  
Cy would be wondering where I was.  
  
Cyborg. My best friend.  
  
He always cheered me up, and the fights we had always made me chuckle.  
  
I chuckled a litle now, allowing myself a moment whilst I recalled our last 'fight'.  
  
"I cannot believe you tricked me inta eatin' that TOFU, AGAIN!!" Cyborg grimaced.  
  
"I didnt trick you. You ate it!" I said triumphatly.  
  
"C'mon BB, you told me it was eggs!" Cyborg said reddening.  
  
"It IS eggs. Tofu eggs. You fell for it though. And your face, dude.." I spluttered giggling.  
  
" Oooh, you are sooo dead dawg!" Cyborg said through gritted teeth as I scarpered as quickly as I could.  
  
Returning to reality with a smile on my lips I took to the air once again.  
  
Cyborgs life had been and still was tough. I guess thats why we get on so well.  
  
The hate and anger inside me still hurt, like a reopened scar. I winced.  
  
But I had to forget again.  
  
Act like everything was cool.  
  
Act like the fool again.  
  
I closed my window.  
  
"Back into the shadow again" I sighed, crawling under the covers.  
  
********************************************************************  
  
Well, not too bad I dont think for a BB POV chapter.  
  
Im a little worried about this chapter ^.^;;  
  
I hope you guys enjoy it, but if it doesnt get good reviews, I might remove it.  
  
R/R to let me know whether to leave it in or not.  
  
Thanks again for the idea, gohon ssj4! ^^  
  
A short chapter again. I'll try to make the next one longer. .  
  
Replies...  
  
screamingmonkeydemons - I know, I read your chapter, it was good! Thanks for the kindness! Too sweet...=D  
  
Invader Sam - Sorry bout the chapter thing, but the next few chapters will DEF be longer, promise! The paragraph thingy is cos people told me they found the story easier to read this way.. O.o;;  
  
Gothic dancer of falling rain - Can I call you gothic? easier to type heh! ^_^ Hum, yes, I have posted fast, its cos I have college soon and I want to try and get as far as I can! I hope that is okay! ^^  
  
Suzaku west - I will, keep on writing! Keep on reviewing!  
  
dragonmaster01 - O_O;; dont kill yourself before you read my fic!! Keep reading!  
  
Okay, that is all for now! So keep on readin!  
  
Ja-ne! ~*Chibi*~ 


	9. Klorbag

Helooo! Back again with chapter nine. *rubs square eyes*  
  
It's only fair to say that I'm back to College 2morrow, so like it may not be updated as quickly, but I'll sure as hell try.  
  
Another note - Sorry about the paragraphing, I'll try to sort it out a bit better in this chapter. It will still be spaced out but less so. Tell me if you prefer this format or what in a review! ^_^  
  
~*Chibi~*  
  
Disclaimer: I dont own teen titans.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******************  
  
Chapter nine - Klorbag.  
  
Raven wandered downstairs the next morning at 6.00am. She had only had 2 hours sleep, but she was awake. And in desperate need of tea!  
  
She glided silently as a ghost into the kitchen, to find someone slumped over the table, not moving.  
  
She stood still, wide eyed, and pulled her hood down. Gliding over she took a look at the lifeless figure.  
  
It was Starfire. She had...some sort of paste all over her hand and mouth, and the table was covered in it. Her cheeks were wet like she had been crying.  
  
"Oh NO!" shreiked Raven without thinking. "shes poisoned herself!" She gasped. Suddenly she had a flashback to the previous night.....  
  
*  
  
"Raven...I.."  
  
"Leave me ALONE."  
  
"Please Raven..."  
  
"Azarath...Metrion...Zinthos" ........  
  
*  
  
Raven sank to her knees and sobbed silently. The bowl of paste exploded, the contents splattering all over the "unconcious" body of Starfire.  
  
"Its my fault. Its all my fault." She held the cold clammy hand of Star sorrowfully and for the first time in her life felt really bad.  
  
Tears fell from Ravens tired eyes. She looked at Starfire.  
  
'How could I have been so cruel?' she scolded herself. 'She was only trying to help!' She looked at her own hands in pure hatred, letting go of Star's. The hand flopped loosely and hit the table leg.Suddenly, the Tamaranians eyes opened.  
  
They blinked slowly, and focused on Ravens hunched figure.  
  
"R...Raven?" said Star, croakily, rubbing her neck. Raven looked up. Embarrased she pulled her hood up to hide her face. Starfire sat up, and blinked a few more times.  
  
The blurry world came into focus again. Then she noticed the pastey contents of the smashed bowl.  
  
"My sadness pudding!" she cried. Raven looked up. Starfire looked down at her shoes. "I shall make some more." she sighed.  
  
She looked at Raven, slowly, not sure what to say. "Raven, I am truly sorry. I was a...Klorbag." she said, as a tear rolled down from her own sad,tired face. Raven stared at the teen.  
  
Her hair had lost some of its shiny quality, and looked worn and frizzy. Her face was paler than normal and she had bags under her eyes.  
  
"I was the Klorbag." said Raven sadly, a solitary tear rolling down her face as well. "I should have kept my temper."  
  
"I should have kept my thoughts to myself. I apologise. Shall I make a forgiveness pudding?" Starfire enquired, slowly, wiping her tear away.  
  
Raven gave a teeny tiny smile. "No." she said. "Make a happiness pudding. Its all in the past now." she added. Starfires face lit up, and Raven would swear she saw the colour flooding back to her cheeks.  
  
"Are we...friends again?" she asked happily.  
  
"Sure." said Raven in her normal monotone voice. Starfire ran to hug Raven, but then remembered who it was, stopping quickly and putting her hands behind her back. Internally, Raven smirked. Then she saw Starfires face.  
  
"Ummm..." Raven said awkwardly, blushing under her hood. "You may want to wipe your face, heh."  
  
Starfire looked in the mirror, giggling at her pasty face. She mopped herself up quickly enough, and started on the table.  
  
"Thank you Raven. And also I wished to thank you for your advice."  
  
Raven nodded in approval, as she finished pouring her tea. "And exactly what advice would that be?" said a voice behind the two girls. They both froze and looked at each other.  
  
"Robin!" said Starfire joyfully, breaking the silence. "I am pleased to see you today. I was just making a happiness pudding!" she smiled at him.  
  
Raven decided to leave them alone. She picked up her tea and began to leave silently. Then she had a thought.  
  
"Ummm," she said, turning to look at the two titans.  
  
"Robin..." she began, not quite sure how to phrase what she wanted to say. Robin looked at her quizzically.  
  
"Sorry, about yesterday." she said quite emotionlessly.  
  
Robin smiled. "Its okay."  
  
Raven nodded and glided off, leaving Starfire and Robin alone.  
  
"She is truly a good person." said a perkier Starfire staring at where Raven had been standing.  
  
"Yeah. In her own way." said Robin thoughtfully,  
  
"Now then, lets start on breakfast!" he said, making Starfire squeal with joy. Little did they both know, that Raven had heard every word. She smiled as she closed her door. Her life seemed to be turning out okay after all.  
  
The lamp exploded behind her. She rolled her eyes and putting down her tea, went to sort it out.  
  
After she had finished, she sat on her bed and quietly.  
  
'What am I going to do?' she thought, sipping her tea silently and contemplating her fate. She put the tea down, and lay back on her bed. Her life was swirling in her mind.  
  
'I'm not sure about things anymore.' she thought, angrily. Why was her life turning into a drama episode? She was plain old Raven, monotonic, quiet and thoughtful, but packing one hell of a punch.  
  
That was the way she had always liked it. That was the way she always assumed it would be. But things were turning blurry in her head.  
  
Suddenly, she wanted to walk around with a smile on her face. She wanted to laugh at the jokes made, and join in with the games. She wanted to show an interest in what the others talked about.  
  
'Basically,' she decided in her head, 'I'm fed up of being me.' She sighed, flippantly, and threw her arms behind her head.  
  
She couldn't be or do all those things. She had to control her emotions. She had to remain the monotonic goth that she was. It was a really depressing thought. She felt trapped inside her mind.  
  
'If I do laugh at the jokes, and have fun, I know the consequences.' she mused, thoughtfully. 'BOOM. Some house would explode or something.'  
  
She was starting to feel depressed inside. She felt like she was tumbling into a dark pit. She needed a hand to hold onto, to pull her out, to save her. The feeling was unbearable.  
  
Plus, she couldn't talk about it to ANYONE. Noone cared enough to listen...except maybe...  
  
She shook her head violently, even though she was the only one in the room. She wasn't going to talk to anyone. This was HER problem, and she was going to deal with it in her own way.  
  
'Who cares what anyone else thinks?' she told herself angrily. 'It's my life.'  
  
'But there will be no peace, until you admit the truth.' a voice inside her mind told her aggressively. Do you want to live in this "cave" in your head forever? Of course you don't.' Raven didnt argue with the voice. Instead she listened quietly and patiently.  
  
'But, what do I have to do?' she asked the voice mentally. It's answer was pure and simple.  
  
"Tell the truth. Tell him the truth."  
  
**************************************************************************** *********  
  
AwwwWWwww. A change of heart in Raven! So cute. I hope I kind of kept her normal character alive. Bear in mind she had only had 2 hours sleep, which is why she panicked!!  
  
Again, I'm not sure on this chapter, but we'll see!  
  
Anyway...Replies!  
  
patriot1 - What to say but thanks, and hugs!  
  
Chloe - I'm kinda glad you gave your honest opinion. I'm also sorry that ya didn't like it but hopefully it'll get better. The shadow was his humour, btw. ^^ (maybe reread it more carefully, now you know and things will slot into place.)  
  
screamingmonkeydemons - Okay, well keep on goin! Thanks for reviewing! keep on goin with your fic, please!! ^__^  
  
Tiger*GRRrr - Thank you soooooo much! I think I'll leave it in. Its something different, and Ive had enough positive response. Thanks again! ^_^  
  
Bill - Thanks, much appreciated, as always.  
  
Invader Sam - Uh huh, it will be involved later on, but I don't want to say any more on this subject - just keep on going!  
  
Classic Cowboy - Wow! Thanks a lot! *cheesy grin*  
  
Review at the bottom left, please!  
  
Ja-ne! ~*Chibi*~ 


	10. Cyborg's Suspicion

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans.  
  
********************************************************  
  
Chapter ten. - Cyborgs suspicion.  
  
Raven was wringing her hands. There was sweat on them. Her hood was down, revealing a face flushed crimson. Her eyes were narrowed, her brow furrowed in thought.  
  
She paced up and down the room like a caged lion. The half drunk tea cup on the side had long before gone cold, and the time was well after 3.00pm.  
  
Raven hadn't eaten anything all day. Infact, she hadnt done anything all day.  
  
Except think.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Downstairs, Robin, Starfire and Cyborg were watching a movie. It was the Matrix Revolutions. Robin was trying to explain the different things to Star, who just didnt understand the plot. (a/n: some of my friends dont get this film ^^; let alone Starfire!)  
  
Cyborg was relishing the fighting. He was deep in thought about the whole idea. He was confused as to which side he would be on, seeing as he was half robot, half man. He mused this topic.  
  
"Cy?" Robin said, breaking his thoughts suddenly. "Helloooo? Cy?!"  
  
"Yea, 'sup Robin?" said Cyborg, returning to reality, unwillingly.  
  
"I said have you seen Beast boy or Raven today?!" Robin said angrily. He'd already said it twice.  
  
"I saw the green dude about a half hour ago. Said he was goin' out. Why?"  
  
"And we saw Raven this morning, Robin," chirped Starfire "Remember? At breakfast time."  
  
"Oh yeah." Robin raised his eyebrow. "You dont think they are.....". Starfire looked quizzically at Robin. Cyborg caught the direction of the conversation easily. He chuckled.  
  
"The green dude and the goth girl? Naw. It couldn't happen, dawg." Cy scoffed.  
  
"Couldnt it?" said Robin, giving Cy a look. Cyborg quietly considered this.  
  
Starfire piped up. "Robin, what do you think Raven and Beast boy are doing? I fear I do not understand what you speak of..." she trailed, looking at Robin's face, which had begun to blush furiously.  
  
"I....uh....well...y'see Star," he began nervously, scratching the back of his head.  
  
"You think that they have spent the day...together?" Star said innocently, her head on one side.  
  
"Yeah...." Robin said breathing a sigh of relief, and regaining his posture a bit.  
  
"Why is that wrong? I do not understand." Starfire pursued, looking puzzled.  
  
"Nevermind Star. Hey, why dont'cha make some more happiness pudding to celebrate...uhh...." Robin started, trying hopelessly to avert the topic.  
  
Cyborg chipped in, "To celebrate the end of the movie..."  
  
Starfire grinned widely, showing all her teeth. "I shall do that!" She got up and flew (literally) into the kitchen.  
  
Robin wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Thanks."  
  
Cyborg smiled at Robin. "No problem, dude."  
  
"So do you really think that it could be happening?" said Robin, intensly curious.  
  
"I don't know, man. What do you think?" said Cyborg uncertainly.  
  
Robin shrugged. "I wouldn't say it was impossible. Improbable, sure. But not impossible."  
  
There was a silence for a few minutes. Robin seemed to be turning things over in his mind. After a while he spoke silently and mysteriously.  
  
"We GOT to find out, Cy, it's gonna kill me otherwise!" he said, looking mischievous.  
  
Then Cyborg had an idea. What if BB and Raven were in HER room? 'Noone ever goes in there!' thought Cy triumphantly. A plot began to form in his head. What if he went knocked on Ravens door? He could catch them in the act. (a/n: nothing gross. I just meant kissing or something, honest! ^_^;) He grinned slyly at Robin.  
  
"Well now, why don't I go see if lil' lonley Raven is hangin' in her room?" said Cyborg in his most sarcastic yet voice. Robin grinned, catching the plan straight away. He gave him a thumbs up.  
  
"Haha, yeah totally! Nice one, Cy!"  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Cyborg got up and walked to Ravens room. Apprehensively, he knocked. Raven opened the door a bit. Her hood was up, the face emotionless, as always.  
  
"What." she stated glumly.  
  
"I wondered if..uh...you knew where Beast boy was?" Cyborg grinned, a little uneasily. He never was sure about Raven.She stared at him.  
  
"How should I know. When did you last see him?" she droned.  
  
"About an hour ago now."  
  
"I'll go look for him if you're desperate. Why do you need him anyway?"  
  
"I...uh...dont. Robin does." Cy lied, turning pink.  
  
"Hmmmmm." said Raven, looking at him through suspicious eyes. "Your lying." she said eventually.  
  
"AHA!" said Cyborg triumphantly, pointing a robotic finger at Rae.  
  
"What now?" her monotone voice echoed down the corridor. She was getting annoyed.  
  
"You know I'm lyin' because he is in there with you!" he said a little over confidently.  
  
"You're kidding me." she stated, in a sarcastic tone.  
  
"No! It's totally obvious you've liked him for ages, and you both mysteriously go missin' all day. A bit "coincidental" isn't it Rave?" said Cy in accusing tones. She stared at him as if he had gone mad.  
  
"Enough!" she said angrily, as the hallway light exploded. "This is the most pointless arguement ever known." she stated coldly, staring at the metal man.  
  
"No it isnt! You and him are..." Cy blushed a bit, "...obviously at it!"  
  
Ravens eyes turned white. Cyborg flew against the wall, a black aura binding his arms and legs.Raven opened her door and walked over to him, angrily.  
  
"First of all, let me remind you I dont like to be bothered in my room. Secondly, how dare you accuse me of something which even if I was doing, would be none of your business, and thirdly, you can go back to Robin and tell him there is nothing going on. This is obviously one of your ridiculous pranks."  
  
Her eyes reverted to normal. Cyborg fell to the floor, with a loud thump. He rubbed his neck.  
  
"Now back off." said Raven, striding back into her room and slamming her door.  
  
******************************************************  
  
Cyborg walked downstairs stiffly, checking his body was alright, through his arm-computer sensors. He plonked down on the sofa next to Robin.  
  
"Well?" said Robin, curiously. Cyborg gave him a thumbs up.  
  
"She totally digs him."  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Back in her room, Raven was so mad. 'How dare Cyborg!' she though furiously, her books whirling around her head. His words rang in her head as clear as day.  
  
"It's totally obvious you've liked him for ages..."  
  
Was it truly? She sank to her knees, as the books landed down beside her with a thump. She looked up. Had Beastboy really gone missing, or was Cyborg messing about? She closed her eyes and searched Titan tower for him, but he wasnt there.  
  
'Well, where is he?' she thought frantically. She couldn't pick him out. Eventually she gave up. 'Ohhhh,' she sighed. She climbed onto her bed, and lay there, looking up at the ceiling.  
  
She thought about her dreams. All she could dream about last night was Beastboy. That mountainside, thats she saw in his head. She recreated fantasies of her own there. (a/n: nothing dirty!!!O.o;) She remembered how real those kisses felt. She touched her cheek, with a fond memory.  
  
'Stop it!' she thought to herself. 'that wasnt real. The feelings, the mountainside...'  
  
'The mountainside....' she mused. 'It wasn't real, was it?' She sat up suddenly, remembering the reality of the place. It couldn't be fictional, there was too much detail of it in BB's head. 'Maybe where Beastboy is right now!'  
  
She smiled, lying down again gently. She closed her eyes. She could still smell the air, so cool and fresh. And smell the flowers, fragrant and pure. She allowed herself a little bit of a nostalgic moment, as she recalled the wonderous images. She stood up quietly.  
  
"I have to see it for myself." she said out loud. She looked at the photograph, now on her bedside table. She touched the photogenic Beastboys face. "Only a photo." she sighed out loud.  
  
Opening her window as quietly as she could, she floated outside. She left it slightly ajar so that she could get in when she got back.It was about 4.30pm, and the sun was still shining brightly. Its warmth felt so good on her cheeks. She lowered her hood, alowing her whole face to be showered with rays. For two days she had wanted to enjoy the sunshine, and now, she was going to relish every moment she could.  
  
She flew slowly, enjoying the scenery and the heat. She scanned the area carefully. Raven wasn't exactly sure where the mountain was but she could sense, by the natural world around her it wasnt too far. Suddenly, she stopped in mid-air hovering above a forest.  
  
'What if Beast boy is there,' she said shivering slightly, despite the prolific heat.  
  
'I....I....I'll...live my dreams then, won't I,' she thought hesitantly, yet she was overcome with a sense of happiness. The tree below her began to creak threateningly. She relaxed her emotions and it settled comfortably.  
  
She took to the air once agian, and flew gracefully towards the huge rocky outcrop before her. She saw a small patch of grass. She squinted. It couldnt be. Could it? She was focusing on a small dot. It looked black, but as she got closer, she saw some green. It was sitting down, looking in the opposite direction.  
  
She drew ever closer. She wanted to draw ever closer. The 'dot' came into full focus. It was definatly Beastboy. Raven stopped again clenching her fists. Her heart had leapt into her throat. 'Last minute nerves,' she thought glumly.  
  
'I have to go and see him. At least talk to him. And none of the titans are here, so its going to be totally private.' she reassured herself. She pulled her hood up.  
  
"Alright," she muttered under her breath as she swooped down behind him silently. He hadnt noticed her. He was staring out over the rocks. She swallowed, smiled, then spoke.  
  
"Kinda nice out here isnt it." said Raven in her normal monotone.  
  
Beast boy froze, like a rabbit caught in head lights. It couldnt be. Could it? He turned around slowly.  
  
"R-Raven?!" he stuttered.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Boo-yah! Chapter ten finitoooo!  
  
Heh heh heh. Sorry Patriot1, another evil cliffie! ~^_^~  
  
Well, I hope you liked the story so far. Its not too soppy. Yet. ^_^; REPLIES!!!!!  
  
patriot1 - Ahh, your a cutie! thanks! ^^ you gotto go on, I'm not answering that question!  
  
Leviathan680 - hehe yes I did! Glad you are, and seriously, thanks. ^_^  
  
Broli the destroyah - Thanks, and yeah I will! I'm not gonna leave it here! O_O;;  
  
gohon ssj4 - soooo glad you liked it! you're too kind! ^__^  
  
Moey25 - Uhhhh? too short? Or okay?! O_o;; but thanks...I think! ^^  
  
Bill - Sorry to inform ya that it doesn't seem to fit in the foreseeable future, but I will DEF keep it in mind. But, uh, anyway when I write another ficcy, that one will be there in the old brain cells ready for use. Thanks! ^^  
  
Invader Sam - Reviewed your ficcy...look and see!! And thankees a lot! glad of your opinion always. ^__^  
  
Right then, thats all for now. Review at the bottom, please please please.  
  
Ja-ne! ~*Chibi*~  
  
PS. I hope this chapter was longer! O_O;; I hope it wasnt too long! 


	11. Living a dream

Disclaimer: I dont own the teen titans. (Sorry!^^)  
  
********************************************************************  
  
Chapter eleven. (OMG!! O_O;) Living a dream.  
  
"R-Raven?!" stuttered Beast boy.  
  
"Surprise." she said, emotionless as always.  
  
"What are you doing here?!" he spluttered, eyes wide with shock.  
  
"Do you want me to leave?" she asked solemnly.  
  
"No!...I mean. Stay if you want to, heh!" Beast boy scratched the back of his head awkwardly. 'What is she doing here? How did she know I was here?' he thought, totally panic stricken.  
  
"So, uh..." he started very uneasily, "..how did you know I was here."  
  
"I didnt." she said smiling.  
  
'Was that a smile?!' thought Beast boy in shock.  
  
'Did I just smile at him?' thought Raven in shock.  
  
"Oh." he sat down again softly, turning his gaze out towards the view again. Raven gingerly sat down beside him. She looked at him. His face looked troubled, she could tell. 'Time to tell him.' a voice said in her head, echoing. 'Let your love be known.'  
  
"Beast boy," said Raven, feeling her heart beating faster than the speed of light. He turned to look at her, frowning.  
  
"Hmm?" BB said. "Dude, whats up?" She blushed furiously.  
  
"I..uh..actually..." she began, nervously. She cleared her throat. 'Damn Damn my emotions.' she thought angrily. She closed her eyes.  
  
"Are you okay, Raven?" said Beast boy, totally lost.  
  
"No," said Raven slowly, gathering her thoughts. "I wont be until I get this off my chest."  
  
"Whats up?" said Beast boy, still confused.  
  
"I didnt know you would be here, but I'm glad that you are." she started, realising that it wasn't too bad for a first attemept. Beast boy looked at her. Her hood was up, but he could tell she was blushing.  
  
"Right. Well, I'm glad I'm here too!" he joked, to try and make her feel easier. She did. She was smiling inside, but she didnt mention it.  
  
"Thats not everything." Raven said, her heart going even faster than before. As if in a dream, she spoke.  
  
"I, uh...like you a lot." she said, going so red, she was surprised her hair wasnt on fire.  
  
Beast boys eyes widened. Inside, his heart had skipped a beat. "What did you say?"  
  
" I said..." Raven started again, turning to look him in the eye. " I like you a lot."  
  
Beastboys face flickered a million emotions.Then, suddenly Beast boy pinched his arm. "Owww!" he said, his face wrinkling in pain.  
  
"What are you doing?" said Raven, her voice momentairily reverting to monotone.  
  
"Heh, well y'see..." began Beast boy, needing to make a confession of his own. "I've...dreamt about this so often, I had to be sure that it was for real."  
  
Raven pinched her own arm. "Owww." Beast boy looked at her strangely.  
  
"I had to be sure as well." she said, pulling her hood down. Beast boy began to blush.  
  
"Umm," he began slowly, stopping, totally lost for words.  
  
"Umm..." he tried again, but he had lost all sense of speech. Raven just looked at him blankly. She wasnt sure what to say herself.  
  
"I like you a lot too." said Beast boy, going several shades of magenta.  
  
There eyes met, and the world stopped like a dream. What happened next was like a dream for both of them.  
  
She leant in closer and so did he. She felt his breath on her cheek. Their noses were touching now.  
  
"Wait." said Raven weakly, hardly able to hold back any longer. Beastboy made no intention of moving away.  
  
"Whats wrong?" he said, looking straight into her eyes. She looked back, into those glittering emerald eyes and was lost in them. It felt so right.  
  
"I...dont want to hurt you." she admitted, looking down. Beastboy put his hand under her chin and lifted it up.  
  
"I dont care." he said honestly. Sliding his hand to the back of her neck, with no hesitation this time, he kissed her full on the mouth. She leant backwards, landing on the soft grass. He was leant over her, his eyes closed. She closed her own and fell into the kiss. It made her heart swirl with joy, her mind melt. She couldnt move, she didnt want to. All she could think about was Beast boy.  
  
Her heart was full with all the love in the world, which she was willing to give to him. She knew he felt the same. He pulled away, opening his eyes and looking at her sweet face.  
  
As Raven pulled away, she was in total shock. 'My emotions...they....they....were under control.' she thought in surprise. A voice inside her head righted her. 'Love will overcome all obstacles, when it is meant to be.' She knew the voice, without having to look in her mirror, for once. She was blissfully happy.  
  
He was still leant over her. She reached up and stroked the side of his face gently. Then she sat up. "I'm tired, Beast boy," she said hugging him close. "Lets go home."  
  
He hugged her just as tightly, never wanting to let her go again. Then he said something which he never thought he ever would get a chance to. He relished every syllable.  
  
"I love you Rae." he said meaning it with all his heart and soul.  
  
"I love you too, Beast boy. So much." she said gripping him ever tighter. He pulled back, unwillingly. But he was grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"Dude," he said happily. "Lets go home."  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
They flew back to Titan tower together, feeling that they were walking on the clouds, instead of flying beneath them. They arrived, silently. Night was falling and they had no idea where the other titans would be 'lurking'. Raven took his hand.  
  
"Hold on tight." she said, pulling him up into the air, and through her window. They landed gently in the darkened room. As her feet hit the floor, she realised how tired she actually was. She nearly fainted on the spot, but BB caught hold of her.  
  
"I've got you." he said, lifting her over to her bed. She smiled at him weakly, as he placed her on the soft sheets. He began to walk away, but she caught his wrist.  
  
"Stay with me." she said quietly.  
  
"Seriously?" said BB raising his eyebrows. She nodded, and he lay next to her on the bed. She fell asleep in his arms. He hugged her close, as he fell asleep too, feeling like the luckiest guy in the world.  
  
**************************************************************************** ****  
  
So there we go! Loves first kiss...that could be the end!  
  
Unless people coax me to carry on...  
  
Remember that request I spoke about a few chapters back...well...  
  
I have a few more chapters in mind if people show a bit of interest.  
  
If not, that is the end...im afraid...;_;  
  
So review if you want some more! Oh and btw, I dont have time to write any replies right now. Promise I will if I update with another chapter!!! But thanks sooo much to all you reviewers! the big 5-0! WOOHOO!  
  
(its kinda like a vote ^_^)  
  
Ja! ~*Chibi*~  
  
PS! Box at the bottom left! 10 seconds! PLEASE! ^_^;  
  
OH and sorry its so short, college is killing me @_@; 


	12. The titans argue

Disclaimer: I dont own teen titans.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Chapter twelve. - The titans argue. (.;)  
  
Beastboy woke up suddenly, and looked around. 'Where the hell am I?!' he thought, blinking. He felt something move next to him. Looking down it all came back to him. The best night of his life. He looked to see that Ravens lavender hair was touching his arm.  
  
She was still fast asleep, so he decided not to bother her. As gently as he could, he eased his arm out from beneath her. Standing up, he smiled. She looked so peaceful. Legs pulled up, fists curled, as though she was a child sleeping.  
  
He looked at her clock. It was 6.30am. He left her room, and shutting her door silently, he walked down to the kitchen. Pouring himself a glass of Soya milk he stood, staring at a spot on the floor. All that anger inside him this time yesterday had vanished.  
  
But he still felt low. He didnt deserve Raven, he was sure. She'd run a mile when she realised what he was really like.  
  
It was just one kiss. But then....  
  
*"I love you too, Beastboy. So much."*  
  
Where did that come from? He sighed. "Oh, man.." Suddenly, there was a movement at the door.  
  
"Hey, B! What's happenin'?"  
  
He looked up. It was Cy, waving cheerily to his buddy.  
  
"Hey Cy." he said picking up his Soya milk and heading for the couch.  
  
"Ready to play some serious games, dawg?" Cy grinned rubbing his palms together eagerly.  
  
"Not yet, sorry dude." said Beastboy smiling weakly at the metal man.  
  
"You okay? Tell me your okay." said Cyborg, voice filled with worry.  
  
Although he teased BB no end, he was his best friend, and he cared for the little green dude.  
  
"Uh," said Beastboy uncertainly. "I'm just a bit tired. Heh." He put his untouched Soya milk down on the table. Cyborgs face eased, then creased into a teasing look.  
  
"Too much going on with Raven, huh?" he whispered, hardly able to hold back his laughter.  
  
"What? Dude, thats totally..." began Beastboy, not sure how to argue this one out.  
  
"Aww, I'm just kiddin' ya." Cyborg smiled.  
  
"Funny though, she acted just the same way." he added, teasingly after a few silent seconds.  
  
"WHAT?!" said Beastboy, in shock.  
  
"Oh, nuthin'." said Cyborg in an irritatingly false tone.  
  
"Cy, what did you do?" Beastboy said worriedly.  
  
"I just asked her if you two were dating, thats all." said Cy coolly, getting up to turn on the PS2.  
  
Before he knew what was happening, a tiger leapt on him from behind and pinned him to the floor.Changing back, Beastboy was shaking in anger.  
  
"WHY?!" he growled.  
  
"Oh, lay off dude. I dont feel like kickin' your butt this mornin'." Cy chuckled. Beastboy stood up. He wasn't smiling.  
  
"I dont know how you call yourself a friend. You...." he said, fuming.  
  
"I bet Robin was in on this too, wasnt he?" he added eventually, going red. Cyborg had stopped laughing. His expression had turned from horror to anger.  
  
"Maybe he was. Whats your deal man?" Cyborg spluttered incredulously.  
  
"Just stay outta my way." growled Beast boy, storming out. The door slammed upstairs. Cyborg was frozen to the spot, in shock. He shook his head.  
  
'What have I done?' he thought.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Raven stirred. She opened an eye reluctantly and stared at her new alarm clock.  
  
7.30 am.  
  
'Wow, thats a sleep in for me!' she thought, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Suddenly, she realised Beastboy had gone. 'He must have got hungry.' she thought. 'I'll go see him in a bit.'  
  
She stumbled clumsily into the bathroom. She was still not fully awake. After a while, when she had woken and showered, and dressed, she pulled her cloak on. Then she heard a funny noise. Shouting. Proper full blown shouting. She didn't hear that very often.  
  
'I'd better go see whats happening.' Silently, she left her room, and glided downstairs, following the noise. She stopped outside the door, and listened. It was probably better, she decided to listen before joining in.  
  
"WHY DID YOU TELL HIM?" shouted Robin angrily.  
  
"I DIDN'T!" came the resounding voice of Cyborg.  
  
"WELL HOW DOES HE KNOW THEN? DUDE YOU SCREWED IT UP!" yelled Robin.  
  
"Okay, maybe I did tell him." Cyborg said more quietly. "BUT I DIDNT SCREW IT UP!" he screamed, his voice rising again.  
  
'Time to step in,' thought Raven, 'before the walls started being blasted away.' She opened the door to a strange sight. It was worse inside than out.  
  
Starfire was on the floor in the corner, cowering. Tears were rolling down her frightened face. Robin and Cy were standing about 1 foot apart, screaming blue murder. They didnt notice Raven come in.  
  
"YES YOU DID!" continued Robin.  
  
"AND NOW....he hates us." his voice faltered. Raven stepped in.  
  
"It's not like me to sleep late." she began, as the boys raised their heads to look at her. Neither of them looked best pleased to see her.  
  
"What's going on." she droned eying them both suspiciously.  
  
"ITS HIS FAULT." yelled Robin.  
  
"I DIDNT DO ANYTHIN'! came the frustrated answer.  
  
"ENOUGH!" said Raven in a loud voice.  
  
"Now then." she said as they fell silent. "If you two won't co-operate..." She walked over to the trembling Starfire.  
  
"Starfire." she said, offering the Tameranian her hand. Star took it, sniffing, and stood up.  
  
"Whats going on?" said Raven, looking at her expectantly. Star wiped her face and looked at Robin pleadingly. Raven was loosing her patience.  
  
"STAR." she yelled.  
  
"I...I...was sitting here, when Cyborg and Robin began to argue." she began. Raven nodded.  
  
"About what," she prompted.  
  
"About Beastboy. I think that Cyborg upset him this morning. But I am not sure. I was frightened. I do not understand why two friends must argue." she sobbed. Raven directed her to the couch where she sat, gratefully.  
  
"What did you do Cyborg." said Raven, her blood pressure rising. They were hurting someone she loved and she wasn't going to stand by and watch.  
  
"I did nuthin'." Raven looked at him furiously. A black aura bound itself around Cyborgs stomach and lifted him up.  
  
"What did you do Cyborg." repeated Raven, arm extended towards where Cy was hanging.  
  
"All I did was joke about like normal and he totally went for me." Cy said, struggling to get free.  
  
"What were you joking about." pursued Raven, staying emotionless with great difficulty.  
  
"It...was...somethin' private." said Cyborg uneasily, avoiding Ravens glare. It was obvious to all what Cyborg had more or less said.  
  
"Stay here." said Raven. "For Beastboy's sake don't do ANYTHING till I get back." The aura carried him to the couch and dropped him down. Cyborg shut his eyes, looking guilty. Raven rounded on Robin.  
  
"You obviously had something to do with this. So you," she motioned. "SIT."  
  
A black aura grew now around Robin, and taking him by surprise it flung him across the room.  
  
"EEEP!" he screamed as he landed on the couch in a heap.  
  
Like naughty children they sat on the couch together, as Raven went to sort out a mess that wasn't her fault for once.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Beastboy lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling with a blank look on his face. He was so mad with everyone, and everything. But a little part of him showed remorse for what he did to Cyborg. He rubbed his face furiously  
  
"Oh, man.." he said, feeling lower than ever. There was a knock on his door.  
  
"Who's there?" he said for the first time in his life. Normally he'd just say 'Come on in.'  
  
"It's me." came an unmistakable voice.  
  
Raven.  
  
'Oh no, I can't let her see me. Not like this...' he thought. But she had already walked in. She stood above him, hands on her hips, looking down.  
  
"Whats going on?" she said, with a hint of concern. He sat up and rubbed his head. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, he rested his head on his hands.  
  
"I fell out with Cy." he said, sadly. Raven put a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.  
  
"I know." she said. "and he seems really sorry."  
  
"He...does?" said Beastboy, looking up. Raven nodded. BB started to get up. Raven sat on his bed next to him, and pulled him back down.  
  
"Whats all this about, BB?" she said, looking at his troubled eyes.  
  
"I told you I just fell out with Cy and..." Beastboy began to repeat.  
  
"No. Whats REALLY going on." said Raven firmly. Beastboy could tell there was no way out of this situation but to tell her. Tell her who he was inside. No more hiding.  
  
"I..." he started, as the Titans alarm went off loudly. Robin ran into the room.  
  
"Theres been a break in down town. They say its the H.I.V.E again." Raven and Beastboy looked at each other then at Robin, who raised his eyebrows. The three of them ran downstairs.  
  
Robin, Cyborg and Beastboy didn't say a word to each other, the whole trip down town. Raven was always silent, so there was no difference there. Starfire looked full of worry, and flew along, emitting the occasional sniff. For the first time ever, the teen titans were in pieces.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
Awwww no. Poor BB. ;_;  
  
Okay, so the positive response was astounding! O_O I'm so thankful to you all, so I will carry on for a few more chappies. ^_^  
  
A few quick replies...  
  
Broli the Destroyah - hehe, I wouldn't dare! I UPDATES! O.o;;  
  
Classic Cowboy - Methinks you want.....more?? ^_^;;  
  
A purple otter - Okay, maybe a ickle bit more than 10 seconds, but still was worth it? If not for you for me! THANK YOU! (Oh and...*takes cookie* thanks ^_~)  
  
Bill - O_O;; dont frighten me like that. But thanks, please carry on goin'!  
  
Lina - =^_^= that is so nice! I hope you enjoy the rest of the fic!  
  
Regrem Erutaerc - Hehe, keep on going, k? TT are cool, and I'm glad they aren't too OOC. ^^  
  
Suzaku West - I CAN'T resist! Hehe, alright, calm down...I'm updating! O.o;;  
  
patriot1- sorry *huggles* I have to continue...please read! ^^  
  
Invader Sam - Keep on goin'! Enjoying your ficcy btw, tis very cool! ^_^  
  
Death machine Epyon - I wont! Please keep reading, and thanks! ^^  
  
Y'kno what to do! Read and review!  
  
I promise that it wont be quite as morbid next time ~^_^~  
  
Ja-ne! ~*Chibi*~ 


	13. A losing battle

Disclaimer: I dont own Teen titans.  
  
***********************************  
  
Chapter thirteen - A loosing battle.  
  
They arrived at the arcade, where the call had come from, in silence.  
  
"Stop! Please stop!" came the voice of an agonised man.  
  
Robin, with the others on his heels, ran inside to find a mess. Machines were scattered all over the place, money all over the floor. No doubt about the fact that it was the H.I.V.E. Gizmo, the pint-sized boy genius (a/n: if genius is the word to use. I could think of some stronger ones....but...) was holding a control.  
  
The machine he was controlling had the shouting man pinned to the floor. It was a claw shaped device, disallowing any movement. Jinx, the sorceress, was hexing all the machines so that they spewed out coins. Mammoth, the genetically HUGE human, was just generally trashing the place, eating anything he could. The poor owner, pinned to the floor, could but scream for help. Gizmo looked up.  
  
"Ooooh its the teen LOSERS. Hey guys, check it out."  
  
The other two temporarily stopped thier trashing to look at the titans. Robin smirked. "Didn't your mothers tell you crime is bad?" (a/n: cheesy I know, but this is ROBIN!! ^_^ *love him really..*)  
  
"I guess not." said Gizmo, laughing as the other two in his team ran to his side. Jinx, coolly placed her hands on her hips. "So, heres our new and improved --"  
  
"ATTACK PATTERN ALPHA!" With that, the H.I.V.E members charged.  
  
"TITANS...GO!" said Robin, as the other titans prepared to attack.  
  
*  
  
Raven focused her attention on the man on the floor. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos.." she chanted, as the remote began to fly from Gizmos hand....  
  
...just as Cyborg charged into him, breaking the controller in two. The man screamed in pain, as the gadget began to fritz and mis-circuit, (a/n: if that is the word...not totally sure...) electricuting him.Raven managed to levitate the claw off him soon after, but it was still a huge mistake for the titans.  
  
*  
  
Meanwhile, Starfire was dealing with Jinx, by firing her Starbolts at the witch. Jinx was acrobatically dodging each attack, but not effortlessly. Evidently, all of Stars shots were getting closer. Just then, Beastboy, having spotted Jinx, was running towards her in the form of a bear.He didnt notice Starfire.As Jinx somersalted backwards, Beastboy lunged...  
  
...straight into a Starbolt. "OOOH!" gasped Starfire ceasing her attacks, and running towards the knocked down Beastboy. Jinx saw her oppertunity and took it.  
  
"Hey girly. Your luck has run out." she said, snapping her fingers, as her pink neon lines hit Starfire in the stomach, knocking her against a wall and out cold. 2 of the titans were out for the count, but 3 remained. Raven saw what happened and with anger, rounded on Jinx.  
  
Jinx was laughing at the fact that she had got rid of two titans. Raven saw her chance. She caught Jinx from behind in a black aura grasp, and threw her against the wall, knocking her out cold as well. The odds looked good once again for the titans, as they battled on.  
  
*  
  
Cyborg was 'dealing' with Gizmo, and Robin with Mammoth. Cyborg was having trouble. He had to watch the little midget carefully, as he could hack his systems at any time. It'd happened once. 'But not again.' thought Cyborg defiantly.  
  
"You hardware is as crud as your fighting." Gizmo announced with glee.  
  
"You won't be sayin' that when I take you down!" Cy yelled, opening his plasma blaster. He charged forwards, as the mini teen grinned with glee. Cyborg ran straight into a trap. He tripped over a small box onto the floor. As he hit the ground, the box flashed red......  
  
...... then exploded. Cyborg was blown against a wall, knocked out before he even hit it. Gizmo began to laugh manically. When he regained himself he opened his eyes he spoke sarcastically.  
  
"That looser didn't even have his feet on the ground!"  
  
"Neither do you." came a monotone voice behind him. Gizmo tried to turn around but his body was stuck in a black aura.  
  
"What the hairball?!" he said in a panic. (a/n: In the episode "Final exam" he actually says this! HaHa! I had to use it!) He heard three words before he went out cold.  
  
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" He had gone crashing up to the ceiling, smashed his head, and his "hardware", and smashed back down unconcious. Raven, frowned under her hood. Was she the only one in control of her emotions?  
  
*  
  
She turned around to see the last titan locked in a feirce battle with Mammoth. He was attacking him with his staff (A/n : Or whatever it is! ^^) But it was having no effect.  
  
"I'll break this matchstick, rwoooar!" screamed Mammoth, swatting Robin like a fly. The staff flew out of Robins hand and hit the wall with a resounding clatter. Robin watched after it, clumsily, and so was knocked flying by a mighty fist.  
  
"AHHHH.....oooooff." he screamed as he landed heavily in a heap.  
  
"Hahaha! You little FLY!" Mammoth said, momentarily off guard himself. Raven seized her chance. She levitated four huge pinball machines, which flew at his head, with acute aim.  
  
'The bigger they are, the harder they fall.' she thought with satisfaction, as the giant hit the floor.  
  
*  
  
Raven turned to look at her friends. They all lay unmoving on the floor.  
  
"Oh, you guys..." she moaned, sorrowfully. 'I'd better take care of business before I help them out.' she thought sadly. Unwillingly, she moved away. She was desperate to see how Beastboy was, but it'd have to wait.  
  
Raven went to call the police, and bound the H.I.V.E members together, who were all out cold. The police arrived to take them away.  
  
"We'll see them again." said Raven, sure that no cell in the world could hold them. She checked the owner was okay, which to her great relief he was. She apologised for their earlier blunders.  
  
"I'm so sorry about my friend's rash actions." she said, in her nondescript voice.  
  
"It is okay. Speaking of them, I think you should try and wake them. The sun is setting and I need to tidy up." said the owner helpfully and thankfully.  
  
"I think you should go and see about you're wounds at the hospital first, sir." she droned, gently.  
  
"Alright then. If you can get your guys out before I get back I'd be mighty grateful, miss. Y'see I have to try and sort stuff out." Raven nodded and turned to the unconcious titans.  
  
*  
  
Without thinking she ran straight to Beast boy. He was in his normal form, covered in bruises and scratches.  
  
"Please be okay." she said silently, as a tear rolled down her face, and then landed on his nose.  
  
"R..a..e.." said a croaky voice. She opened her eyes, to see that he had opened his. He looked in a lot of pain.  
  
"Keep still, you idiot, you'll make it worse." she said, wiping her face with her free hand. She did a check up on him, and realised he had a few broken ribs, but he was okay really. She didnt have enough power left to heal him. After all, she had just defeated the H.I.V.E using her own power. After a quick kiss, she left him to recooperate whilst she roused the others.  
  
Starfire had got a dislocated shoulder, and a lot of cuts and bruises all over her body.  
  
"Starfire, are you okay?" Raven said, touching Starfire's shoulder, gingerly.  
  
"Yes...I..believe so..but..my..shoulder...AHHHH!" she screamed. Raven directed her towards Beastboy.  
  
She moved to the next titan.  
  
Cyborg had a load of problems with his systems, and his battery needed replenishing desperatly. "Cyborg." she said tapping his shoulder.  
  
"Ow. Yeah, I'm doin' okay Rave. Go help the others, alright?" She nodded, and moved silently away to Robin.  
  
Robin had got a huge bruise on his face where he had been hit by Mammoths fist, some fractured body parts to go with it.  
  
"Robin. Wake up, Robin." she said loudly, shaking him as gently as possible. He woke, and rubbed his bruised face, gingerly.  
  
"Oooh....I feel like I've been hit by a steamroller..." he moaned, sounding worse for wear.  
  
Raven rolled her eyes, but she helped him up anyways. He limped over to the other titans. They all looked although they had taken a severe beating, which lets face it, they had. Raven herself was totally unharmed.  
  
She was merely exhausted from the excess powers she'd used. Her heart bled for her battered friends. After the longest trip home EVER, (they went to the hospital to be patched up and stuff)they all fell on thier huge couch. Raven lectured the pain stricken team.  
  
"What were you all thinking? We need to work as a team! See what happens when we are torn apart?" she started, keeping her temper but with an edge to her voice.  
  
"Beastboy, you ran into Star's attack. STAR's. That was just plain clumsy. And Cyborg, you nearly hurt an innocent man, by crushing Gizmo, before I had a chance to free the owner. That was dangerous. You should know that civilians are priority. Plus, you tripped on a box. But that wasn't really your fault."  
  
She paused dramatically, feeling totally out of character.  
  
"Starfire, I know why you did what you did but it was careless, when Jinx was standing by. You have to control your emotions. That goes for all of you."  
  
She paused again, and turned to Robin.  
  
"But Robin. Why you did what YOU did remains a mystery to me. You let down your guard. You NEVER let down your guard. It must have been because you were thinking about earlier, not about the fight at hand."  
  
She closed her eyes and sighed, reopening them again.  
  
"We have got to stick together. We are a team. If we do not bond together then we will fall apart. Luckily, the H.I.V.E were so goddamn egotistical, I managed to catch them all off guard too."  
  
She smiled, shocking all of the team except Beastboy, who smiled back.  
  
"But we are not JUST a team. We are friends. Think how I felt watching those jerks hurt my only real friends. Who knows how long it'll be till we face them again, but I say we pull together. These argumentitive vibes are to be put aside. We fight together, or we don't fight at all."  
  
She finished dramatically, feeling like an army sergent lecturing a squad. She stood there sheepishly, but determined not to show it. The other titans were stunned, save one. Beastboy grinned up at his true love.  
  
"She's right." he croaked, causing all the others to look at him. Carefully he eased himself up. Raven ran to him, helping him stand. He closed his eyes, and reopened them. Some of the sparkle had returned, replacing the dull shimmer.  
  
"I...just want to apologise to you guys. It's my fault this happened. And Cy," he said, looking at Cyborg. "I'm sorry man. I shouldn't have gone...tiger on you." he grinned.  
  
"Friends again everyone?" said Beastboy, looking at Raven.  
  
"I liked you all anyway." she sighed, rolling her eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry too, B. And all you others. Y'all my best friends, goddamnit!" said Cy smiling.  
  
"I am truly sorry to have upset any of you, but I am very glad that everyone is happy agian. Let us all reunite in a hug!" said Starfire grinning as widely as she could.  
  
"That may be kinda painful right now, Star." said Robin patting her shoulder, causing her to wince. Robin looked apologetic.  
  
"But I'm sorry to you guys as well. I'm such a jerk sometimes." he added shaking his head.  
  
"I think," said Raven glad everyone was back to normal. "that we all are jerks sometimes."  
  
There were murmurs of approval, and mutters of friendliness revived in the once cold air.Raven helped Beastboy to the couch and sat down as well.  
  
They all sat there, sprawled over each other, too tired to move or speak. It was a companionable silence this time.  
  
"Ummm, Raven?" said Cyborg eventually. She could tell he was reluctant.  
  
"Yes, Cyborg." she said in monotone, not bothering to look at him. Her head was so heavy, with tiredness she could barely lift it.  
  
"I'm sorry about yesterday as well...I..uh...shouldn't have....kinda...assumed..that well, y'know." Cy finished, awkwardly. The other titans stared.  
  
Raven blushed.  
  
"Funny you should mention that." she said equally as awkwardly.  
  
She cleared her throat.  
  
"I have something to tell you guys."  
  
********************************************************  
  
Another Cliffie! MWAHAHAHAH! Im sooo evil! =^_^=  
  
*clears throat*  
  
Replies...  
  
dragonmaster01 - Ehhm, let me explain breifly. I live in England right? So college here is 16+. I'm only 16. I forgot that like, in other places College is 18+ isnt it? Or somethin'. Anyway. Thanks and no more poking! I will continue! O_o;;  
  
Jesse Arnold - Your too kind. As for the plural, I've only written this one O_o;;  
  
Leviathan680 - Wow, for your wow. And yesh I will! ^^  
  
Tiger*GRRrr - If your ready, then your ready! What can I say but keep R/R, please! ^_^ oh, and mucho mucho thanks!  
  
purplerave - thankees, I'm sorry I can't write more but my college work takes priority....  
  
patriot1 - *huggles* What more to say?!  
  
Classic Cowboy - Methinks you thought I thought right ^_^ And yesh there will be more!  
  
A purple otter - Okay! Sorry for morbidness, but hopefully the end of this chappie made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. *throws pink glitter on you*  
  
ROIGHT! I hope you like it so far! R/R please!  
  
JA! ~*Chibi*~ 


	14. Confession, reaction

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans. (How many times have I had to say this?! O_O;;)  
  
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Chapter fourteen - Confession, Reaction.  
  
"I have something to tell you guys." (a/n: incase you forgot!! ^_^;)  
  
Three of the four other titans looked up. Beast boy merely looked down at his shoes. He knew what she was going to say. Or at least he thought he did.  
  
'She's going to tell them, *Just for the record, there is NOTHING going on between me and Beastboy so would you guys just drop it.*' he thought unhappily. 'Then maybe she'll storm into her room, slam the door and these three are gonna be like *Whats her deal, BB?*'  
  
Raven looked at her shoes as well.  
  
"Ummm, you guys can't laugh..." she began uncharacteristically, blushing. Beast boy looked up from his shoes, still silent, now wondering what was going on.  
  
"Raven...are you...blushing?!?!" said Robin, in a mildy amused voice. She looked up at him. With that single glance he fell silent. The room was quiet for a few seconds after that. Raven was gathering her thoughts. The other titans, Beastboy included, were wondering what the hell was going on.  
  
"Right, well after much consideration..." Raven started calmly. "I suppose I had better start at the beginning."  
  
"A very good place to start!" mocked Cyborg. Beastboy prompty smacked him on the head. (a/n: If you dont know what he is mocking....tsk tsk....*shakes head* its 'the sound of music', which btw I don't own either.^^)  
  
"Thank you Beast boy." said Raven, clearing her throat. "Well as you guys know, I've been acting kind of..weird recently. More so than usual." she said coldly pre-empting Cyborg, who promptly closed his mouth.  
  
"Anyway," she continued. "It's been for a reason. Starfire knows vaguely about this, but not fully enough." She paused, seeing Starfires knowing reaction.  
  
"You have a right to know why I've been acting how I have. I didn't know myself until yesterday." She paused again, seeing Beastboys knowing reaction. (and she noticed relief as well.) Robin and Cyborg were still totally confused.  
  
"It's something that has been inside me for a while now. Apparently it was obvious to some." Cyborgs eyes widened, then relaxed. She saw him mouthing "OOoooohh..." He'd finally realised as well.  
  
Robin, however, was still oblivious to the whole conversation. She thought that she was going to get away with being able to say it, without SAYING it. (a/n: If you see what I mean ^^) She didn't want to outright tell them about her and Beastboy.  
  
'Oh for crying out loud, dont make me say this Robin.' she thought, getting flustered. Robin's eyebrow was raised, and his face twisted at a confused angle. 'I have to come out and say it.' she thought, ever more nervously. She cleared her throat again.  
  
"I guess what I'm trying to say is....uh...that...um..." she turned scarlet. The other titans, save one, could feel her embarrassment. They remained silent, looking anywhere but at her. They all, having realised what she was talking about, recognised how hard this was for her. BeastBoy was dying inside.  
  
'GODAMMIT ROBIN!' thought Raven angrily. Behind her, the sound of cracking china was audiable. "IguesswhatIwanttosayisthatIlovebeastboy." she said as quickly as she could.  
  
Robins face remained the same. "I didn't quite catch that...." he said slowly. The other titans put their head in their hands, in utter disbelief.  
  
"ARRRGGHHHHHHH ROBIN!" screamed Raven angrily. More china cracking. She stood up absolutely fuming. Objects were outlined in black and began to shake and swirl around Ravens head. All the titans, except for Robin were really quite frightened. He just looked totally confused.  
  
"I SAID I LOVE BEASTBOY! OKAY?! I SAID IT, SO THERE." And with that Rae did storm up to her room. There was a loud slamming noise, followed by silence.  
  
"Oh..." said Robin, chuckling, and scratching his head nervously. He'd also suddenly become bright red. "Heh, I already knew that!" he grinned, as the other titans collapsed around him.  
  
Beastboy was as red as it was possible for someone green to be. (a/n: have you ever thought about this? O_O;) "I'd...uh...better go see if she's alright." he said nervously.  
  
He hobbled out of the room, uneasily. The silence he left was unbearable. Starfire was looking at Robin, with raised eyebrows. He looked at her momentarily. She shook her head and tutting, averted her gaze. Cyborg, punched him on the arm.  
  
"Nice goin', man." he said sarcastically.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Raven was up in her room, tears running down her face. 'They are so insensitive sometimes,' she thought angrily.  
  
'Why did I tell them?' she thought to herself, as she fell back onto her bed.  
  
'Because I dont want to pretend anymore.' she thought, her heart pounding in her ears.She was unspeakably angry, yet relieved, yet sad, yet happy all at the same time. Most of the objects in her room were smashed, because of the mood she was in when she had entered the room. She rubbed her forehead and sighed.  
  
Her heart was so sore. Emotions she had kept bottled up, were flowing out of her like there was no tomorrow. 'Which,' she thought, ' lets face it, there wont be, if I keep on doing this.'  
  
She calmed down a little, still lying on her bed, and closed her eyes. Knock knock. There was someone at the door. She remained in the same place, eyes closed.  
  
"Who is it." she said, in her monotone voice.  
  
"Just me." came a croaky voice. Her eyes sprang open. She gasped.  
  
"BEASTBOY! You idiot!" she flung the door open.  
  
"You shouldn't have come up here in this state." she said, looking at the battered boy, who looked weakly back.  
  
"Quick, come and sit down." she half held, half dragged him towards the bed.  
  
'Oh no,' she thought sorrowfully, 'that was so insensitive of ME. I should have stayed, I knew he would come after me.'  
  
"Are you...okay?" he winced as he sat down awkwardly.  
  
(a/n: for those who don't know, broken ribs are reaaaallly painful, and you cant fix 'em either. Poor BB. ;_;)  
  
"Yeah. I guess." she shrugged, wiping her eyes, as she sat down next to him.  
  
BB looked at the smashed up room, carefully. "Why...did you tell them?"  
  
"Because," she said, repeating her earlier thoughts. "I don't want to pretend anymore. I'm fed up of them thinking I'm an emotionless corpse."  
  
"You know that...I wouldn't have cared even if they did know." he said, looking at her, his eyes shining with love.  
  
"I know. But I had to. I'm sorry." she said equally as lovingly. She rested her hand on his shoulder. There was a short silence. They were both running a hundred thoughts through their minds.  
  
"Before we were interrupted earlier, there was something you were going to tell me." Raven said, carefully, after some time. She knew she was treading on broken glass.  
  
"Oh...yeah...that." said BB really uncertainly. He closed his eyes.  
  
"Do you want to tell me about it? You know I won't force you." she said evenly. He opened his eyes again.  
  
He looked at her. 'She cares. She really cares. Noone has ever been like this with me before.' thought Beastboy, his heart fluttering. He swallowed. "I..don't think I'm ready to talk to anyone yet."  
  
Raven gave his shoulder a little squeeze. "When you are, you know where I am."  
  
He nodded and she gave him that smile, reserved only for him.  
  
"So, um..." said Beastboy looking her in the eyes, grinning slightly. "Are you ready to face the reactions of your 'confession'?" She looked back, remaining composed. But her eyes gave her away. They were filled with fright and confusion.  
  
"Only if your there to hold my hand." she said quietly. He offered her his hand, and she took it gratefully.  
  
"Always." he said, giving it a little squeeze.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Nice goin', man."  
  
The titans had remained silent for a while after that. Robin rubbed his forehead.  
  
"Oh man, I'm the one who screwed it up this time." he said feeling stupid.  
  
"Yup." said Cyborg thoughtfully.  
  
"I think that you should apologise to Raven. It was hard for her to speak to us like that, and, I am truly sorry to say this to you Robin, but you did as it is said 'screw it up' for her." said Starfire, sadly. Robin ceased rubbing his temples and brought his hands down.  
  
"Hold up just a second." he said looking at the other two accusingly."How come, you two knew about this? Raven didn't tell me anything!" he said indignantly.  
  
"Dawg, when you think about the past half hour, you can see why. And anyway, I don't know 'bout Star but Raven didn't exactly tell me. She just confirmed my "suspicions" in her lil' speech." said Cyborg, still thoughtful.  
  
"Yes, my case is similar." said Starfire. "We had a conversation, and she confirmed what I had thought about her and Beast boy, very cleverly in her speech. I do not think she would have had to have said anything properly, were it not for you Robin." She looked at him with a mixture of emotions flickering along her pained face.  
  
Robin sighed. "I'm officially a jerk."  
  
"Yup." agreed Cyborg.  
  
"I do not think so. I just think you were a bit....how do you say it?....Insensitive." said Star gently, putting an arm around his shoulder.  
  
"Listen, man, all you gotta do, is make sure you apologise. I'm sure that Raven will..uh..understand." said Cyborg, sounding less than certain.  
  
"I am sure she will." said Starfire definitely, looking at Cyborg in a way that said 'You aren't helping!' Robin shuddered at the thought of confrontation. He wasn't a guy for to many words. Not with Raven anyhow. He looked at Starfire graciously.  
  
"Okay." he agreed eventually.  
  
"So, uh...Raven and Beastboy, eh?" Robin added, swallowing, trying to avert the attention off himself.  
  
"I told you it could happen." said Cyborg chuckling.  
  
"Wait a minute...as I recall...." began Robin, pointing a finger at the tin- man.  
  
Starfire interjected suddenly. "I think that there have been enough "loud words" for one day." she said sharply.  
  
"Yeah, you're right, Star." said Robin, looking down. They all sighed, and slumped back on the couch.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Beastboy and Raven, still holding hands, walked towards the TV room (a/n: or Whatever its called!) Ravens heart started to beat faster than any drum could.  
  
Beastboy's throat was dry and he was trembling, but determined to show Raven it was okay. 'I hope they're gentle on her.' he thought, in hope.  
  
Raven was sure she had made the wrong desicion by telling the titans.....  
  
....and she had broken half the china in the house.......  
  
.....plus she had screamed at the leader of the team......  
  
........before making her boyfriend who had 3 broken ribs walk up flights of stairs to get her.  
  
This definitely wasn't her day. They reached the door. It seemed to loom above her.  
  
"C'mon, it'll be okay dude." said Beastboy, trying his best to act his bouncy self.  
  
"Okay." said Raven squeezing his hand and following him sheepishly into the room.She felt so very out of character. She should be the one being confident and independent. Somehow, she couldn't summon up the strength.  
  
They saw the other titans, slumped on the couch.  
  
"Hey guys." said Beastboy in his new croaky voice. He wasn't feeling very well, but he didn't dare show it. They all looked up. Upon seeing Raven they all began to talk at once.  
  
"Raven, I am sooo sorry I was an insensitive jerk..." said Robin.  
  
"Glad your not mad Rae. Glad you came out and told us." said Cy.  
  
"I am happy to see that you are feeling better." said Star.It sounded like a rabble of noise, which Raven decoded as :  
  
"Raven, I am glad happy to see you came out and told us feeling better insensitive jerk."  
  
She blinked.  
  
"Ummm." she said. "I'm not sure what that was..but uh.." she began, raising an eyebrow. Her and Beastboy sat back down on the couch. Their hands were still intertwined.  
  
She took a deep breath, and began in her normal monotone voice.  
  
"Starfire, yes I am feeling better thanks."  
  
"Cyborg, it was difficult and I'm not mad anymore."  
  
"Robin, you are the biggest insensitive jerk ever...but I forgive you."  
  
She smiled.There was a tension which was lifted from the air, almost suddenly. It was as if her smile wiped away each of the titans worst fears. They all settled down to watch the TV - even Raven, who wasn't going to leave Beastboy. She felt she had to make up for dragging him upstairs.  
  
Her head rested on his shoulder, softly. The other titans were sitting next to them. Robin had his arm around Starfire, who was smiling. Cyborg was happily watching the tele.  
  
Finally, things seemed to be panning out nicely.  
  
'But for how long?' Raven thought to herself. She remained silent, nontheless.  
  
'Why ruin a perfect moment?' she thought.  
  
****************************************  
  
~*The End of Part ONE!*~  
  
RIGHT! Sooo I am going to start a follow on fic probably, dependent on what you guys think. There will be more fun and twists following this moment. Let me know.  
  
Anywho. R/R my newest chapter! Which is longer I hope.  
  
Replies -  
  
dragonmaster01 - CUPCAKE! WOOOHOO! YUMMMMYYY! *eats* more for doing another chapter? Thanks as well, dude. ^^  
  
Classic Cowboy - I'm glad, otherwise this could get REAL confusing, loike! Soz bout the cliffie! And thanks. ^_^  
  
patriot1 - *blush blush* thank you. ^_^  
  
A purple otter - CAKE! O_O hehe, and thanks. And yes, I do update fast. Only in hope that others will too. I hate being left at the end of a chappie personally. Anywho, thanks! ^^  
  
Jade - thanks. Next time, you only need to tell me once! O.o i think you made a mistake somwhere..cos I can see your review 5 times...so, uh, thanks thanks thanks thanks and thanks! ^^  
  
Okay, so quickly, my next Fic will be a follow on. I'll remind u in the summary, just so as you dont forget! WOOT! okay, well, R/R!  
  
Ja-ne! ~*Chibi*~ 


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